Ah, Halloween. I love this day. What a wonderful excuse to do something crazy.

One of my favorite Halloweens was junior year of college. I was living in a house in the middle of a real neighborhood with the potential for lots of trick-or-treaters. We were talking about what we wanted to do when I remembered the bobbing ghost.

You see, when I was little, we used to go to the YMCA pumpkin patch to buy our jack-o-lantern. When you got there, you’d find a bunch of kids back by the hay jumping and screaming like crazy where someone had rigged this ghost on an invisible line. It would just hang there in the breeze until you tried to touch it. Then it would jump out of your reach. Sometime, the ghost would be replaced with a little pumpkin but the game was always the same. I don’t remember every seeing where the person who did the pulling was hiding. It always seemed like the ghost could move all on its own.

Now, after telling this story, Roger, Anitra and Mike all decided this was the prank for us. We had this big tree out front by the walkway to the door. We found that if you climbed out of the second story window, you could hide behind the rise of the roof and still see the front walk. So we rigged up this ghost and ran the line through the tree and up to the roof. As the poor unsuspecting trick-or-treaters approached, we’d drop it on them and give them the fright of their lives. We actually freaked out quite a few moms as well. It was a blast!

I thought about trying something similar tonight. We have a great tree for it and will definitely get some kids. The real problem is our roof pitch is pretty scary and it’s rainy out. Not much fun to cling to a roof in the rain. I have a feeling this set-up can only be accomplished in warm weather climates like San Diego. Ah well, it’s a great trick if you can pull it off.

So I guess tonight I’ll just dish out candy and try to keep Artie from eating any of the small children that wander onto our doorstep. Unlike last year, I hide all the Halloween candy so my husband (aka Candy Smurf) didn’t eat it all. Next year thought, I’m going to plan something good. I’m one of those people who likes the trick over the treat. Hee hee.

It was a rough computer weekend at my house. I think Windows figured out what I was planning and began launching counter-measures because things quickly went from bad to worse in the basement.

First off, I decided Mandrake was the Linux program for me. They have a very friendly web page with lots of cute penguin icons. This sold me. The only thing is, the program is GIANT. OZ was download for well over an hour and hadn’t even made a dent in the files. Meanwhile, Frankenstein was under attack. I think Windows sensed the presence of the penguin or something because all of a sudden, I started losing monitors.

Oh yes, have I mentioned Kevin is addicted to ebay? If not, consider yourself informed and read on.

Kevin had just bought me a newly used monitor off of ebay. It was a nice 17 inch for only $50 bucks plus $44 shipping. (Yes, I know what you’re thinking, I could get a new one at Fry’s for that much but remember, Kevin has a disease. He cannot control himself on ebay.)

So my newly used monitor showed up and was plugged in. After about 15 minutes, it starts to flicker and the wiggle. I found I could use it for about 12 minutes before it went bad. Grrrr. So after chastising Kevin, I had him bring back the old monitor. Only problem is, after a few minutes of surfing, this one goes dead. Total black screen of death.

Now tell me, what are the odds of losing two monitors back to back like that? Coincidence? I don’t think so. Because poor Frankenstein is now blinded and monitor-less, we had to abort on the plan to install Linux. I’m worried what’s going to go next. I don’t trust Windows. Not one bit.

Deep in the basement, in the back corner of our house, you’ll find a small room by the water heater. This is our computer center. In it, there live two computers. Kevin’s is called OZ. It is has the latest and greatest everything on it. It’s main purpose is the surf the net and play computer games and it does both very very well. On the other side of the room is my computer. It’s name is Frankenstein because it is made from bits and pieces. I swear there are parts that are held together by duck tape. But I love Frankie. It hops on the network and every now and then I’ll team up with Kevin on his latest computer game. It can access the Internet and surf just fine even if it does have a very small screen. We get along quite wonderfully, Frankie and I. So while OZ is jamming away, we chug along quite happily.

But I’ve decided that Frankie needs to come out the closet. That’s right, I’m thinking of going LINUX. I figure, why not? He’s already messed up hardware wise, why not mix up the OS as well and make him a true freak. Of couse, I’m not real sure what LINUX is but I know there’s a really cute penguin involved which is a good sign. I mean, what sort of a mascot is a window anyway???

But I believe in reading the directions before trying to install something so I’m off to do a little research. So far, the amount of information is overwhelming. This might take me a little longer than planned but that’s ok. Wish me luck!

Kat sent me these jokes and while I don’t enjoy puns as much as Kevin, I thought I’d post a few here for your enjoyment…

Q: How Do You Get Holy Water?
A: You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

Q: What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
A: Dam!

Q. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn’t Work?
A: A Stick.

Q: What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers?
A; Subordinate Clauses.

Q. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q: Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
A: Right Where You Left Him.

Q: Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A: Because They Have Big Fingers.

Q: Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
A; Because It Scares The Dog.

Q: What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
A; The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

Q: What Do You Call Skydiving Lawyers?
A: Skeet.

I should have been a boy scout. I make the most rip roaring fires you have ever seen. For a while, we used to let Kevin build the fires. The only problem with that method was that we kept going through boxes of matches, reams of paper, and all that would appear after an hour and a half was a bunch of ash. No fire, no coals, nada. So the other night, after swearing at the chimney for an hour, Kevin threatened to go outside, grab the BBQ lighter fluid, and douse the logs. I decided at that point Artie needed to go out. This is McLaughlin speak for “Kevin, you are upset and dangerously close to doing something stupid so go take the dog on a long walk and cool down.” So Kevin grabbed the dog and stormed out muttering under his breath. (The last time he tried to vent his anger in the house he punched his fist through the wall!)

By the time he returned thirty minutes later, there was a roaring fire going and all it took was one match and a few pieces of paper. Since then, I have been the undisputed fire starter. Last night I started it up at 7:30 and it was going strong when we went to bed four hours later. It was one of those fires where the coals are so hot they’ll burn the hair off your toes if you stand too close and are unfortunate enough to have hair growing on your toes. I had a good six logs going at one time so you could stretch out for a half hour without having to get up and play with the fire. I even got it up to 69 degrees without the help of the furnace.

I know this because for Christmas last year, I got Kevin this really neat temperature monitoring systems. We set the main unit in the living room and have remote sensors that we distribute around the house and outside. This means at any one time we can stand in our living room and determine the temperature in that room, upstairs, in the basement, outdoors, and even in the dog house if we wanted to. It’s great when you are roasting in the summer heat to figure out which room is coolest. Last night, I was trying to hit 70 but was one degree short. The only drawback is that we are tearing through our wood supply and may have to pace ourselves. Who’d have thought that a third of a cord wouldn’t be enough for a two person-two cat-one dog-family??? Next year, I want a full cord. Then I could hit 70 every night of the week. Muuuuua-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!