Author Archives: Chrissie

Ebay Mania

So I think Kevin has been doing a little too much ebay lately since I’ve figured out how to turn him from the dark side of ebay. I’ve got him selling stuff instead of buying. Now he huddles in front of the computer working on his layout for his auction items. Trying to get the best mix of information and visual effects to convince some sucker he really wants our barely-used-almost-mint-condition thing-a-ma-bob.

And the surprising part is, he’s good. Actually, he’s better than good, he’s really good. His gimmick is free shipping. The biggest rip-off on ebay is the shipping. You watch the auction, increasing the bid .50, fighting with treklover342 over three days only to win your auction and discover the seller wants $20 to ship a book via parcel post. This makes me very very grumpy. And so Kevin, tapping into his devious used-car-salesman soul, lists his item as follows:

STARCRAFT MAC/PC – MINT CONDITION – FREE SHIPPING!!!!!

This brings them in droves. Suckers.

To date, we have made well over $100 bucks on our little selling scheme. I rummage through the basement looking for ugly wedding presents or unused computer stuff. Once located, I forward them to Kevin who reacts in horror. (“Oh no, not the pineapple shaped cigarette tray. That was given to us by my uncle’s first cousin’s neightbor. I know we’ve never even taken it out of the box in the two years we’ve been married but that doesn’t mean we won’t use it!”) After much cajoling and hand holding (and the promise that the proceeds will go toward a new Athalon XP 1800 chip), Kevin will cave to my demands and sell the offensive item online. So far, every item we’ve posted has sold for a profit. Kevin’s chip fund grows full, my basement shelves grow empty.

So why, I hear you asking me, do I think Kevin has been doing too much ebay? Well put on your dream interpretation hats boys and girls because last night I was visited by a very strange one. Here’s the skinny.

In this dream I go down to the computer room and hop on Kev’s computer. I look at his ebay site to check how our auctions are progressing and I realize he’s added a new one. This one reads :
BARELY USED-LIKE NEW- CHRISSIE 1.02- FREE SHIPPING!

In horror, I click the link to find out that Kevin has posted me online and, even worse, the auction is closed. The site counter says 15,000 hits but there were only 15-20 bids for me. The final price paid? $320. That’s right, Kevin sold me for $320, no reserve.

So at this point I’m getting frantic. In dream world, it is common knowledge that an ebay auction is legally binding and I know I can’t get out of it. My first thought is maybe it’s some one I know who bought me so I’m frantically trying to figure out who this person is. On ebay, next to a person’s name is a linked number which shows their feedback history. Using this number, you can see that last 6 months of purchases/items sold for that person. So in this dream, I’m clicking through all of the items bought/sold by this person trying to figure out who he/she is. And it’s just weird crazy stuff bought – I remember one was an automatic banana peeler. (Is there even such a thing? ) I can’t tell anything about who this person is. So I start plugging the ebay ID into Google and Yahoo hoping to discover the identity that way. Nothing. Nada. All I know is that Kevin has up to three business days to ship me off to my new home after payment is received. As I’m working the search engines, this email pops up saying Kevin’s paypay account has just been credited $320.

Now, how scary is that?

So this morning I decided two things. First, Kevin needs a break for ebay. Second, I’m going to nice to Kevin all week. (I know, I know, that’s asking a lot but I figure aim high, right?)

Any interpretations of the aforementioned dream would be greatly appreciated. And with that, I think our hour is up.

The Pooka Life

More pictures on the Baby D page. Be warned, some of these pictures are so cute you will want to get a Baby D yourself. I’d recommend a fish instead.

Trust me on this one.

V-Day Question

The question over donuts at the office this morning revolved around Valentine’s Day. We all went around sharing what we were going to get the sig. fig. in our respective lives. When it was my turn, I was truly stumped.

I’m not getting Kevin anything for Valentine’s Day. Never have, probably never will. I’ll go even one step farther and let you in on another secret as well. I’ve never bought him an anniversary present either.

What’s that you’re calling me? Cold, heartless, bitc— Um, excuse me. My mother may read this. Lets keep the language out of the potty thank you very much.

Now, before you judge me, let me explain. I believe that Valentine’s Day and anniversaries are a chance for my sig. fig. to express how happy and thankful he is that I’ve deemed to stay with him another year. I figure the fact that I said yes and went through with the whole “do you Christine, take this man…” ritual carries over from year to year to year. Valentine’s Day and anniversaries are sort of “get out of jail free” cards for Kevin. A chance to score some brownie points for later down the line. So that during early March, when he really sticks his foot in his mouth, he can say, “but I bought you that great Valentine’s day present, remember?” The glory of the present dictates how many times he can use this as an excuse. A good present and he can trade off that karma for months. Not so hot present, and he’s sunk by the end of spring.

I thought this was how things were done everywhere. I had no idea that for some people, the woman buys the man presents. What a scary thought. What’s the world coming to, I ask you?

Fool In the Rain

I’ve started watching Ally McBeal reruns late at night. I never really liked this show but I’ve somehow gotten sucked into it. Anyhow, I think it’s rubbing off on me because I had this strange theme song playing through my head all day.

Certain songs are tied to people or places for me. When I hear them, I’m teleported through time and I’m back somewhere in my past with that particular song defining the moment. Today, for whatever reason, I’ve had the song Fool in the Rain by Led Zepplin in my head. I’m not a big Led Zepplin fan, I haven’t listened to this song in years but today, for whatever reason, it’s been my theme song.

Well there’s a light in your eye that keeps shining
Like a star that can’t wait for a night
I hate to think I’ve been blinded baby
Why can’t I see you tonight
And the warmth of your smile starts a-burnin’
And the thrill of your touch gives me fright
And I’m shaking so much, really yearning
Why don’t you show up, make it all right, yeah, it’s all right, all right

And suddenly, I’m back in highschool. I’m at home in our kitchen with Steve and we are making fortune cookies. I’m not sure why we decided to do this, but I suppose I found some recipe about it and so we spent a Saturday afternoon writing silly fortunes for our friends and teachers, then folded them into a pastry dough and cooking them. If I remember right, they turned out truely inedible. He did, however, bring over a mixed tape for me. (Yes, this is back in the day when we used to listen to cassette tapes. It was a given that you’d make a mixed tape for your girlfriend. Some sort of teen age rite of passage I think.) I remember that one side was a best of Pink Floyd and the other was the best of Led Zepplin a la Steve. I hadn’t really heard that much from either group so it was all pretty much new to me. But Fool in the Rain just jumped out at me. It was one of those songs that clicked.

This may be a bit silly but bear with me.

I remember that after Steve left, I ran into the living room and turned up the volume. (Where were my parents? I have no idea but for some reason I was on my own with no one to complain about my crazy music.) He had left behind this green knit sweater and I found it. I then proceeded to dance around the kitchen with this sweater doing my best to sing along at the top of my lungs. I so remember this it’s scary. Dancing and singing and just being so happy and giddy that I felt like I would burst.

I have no idea what happened to that tape but today that song just came back to me. Maybe I heard it on the radio or someone was humming it – I really don’t know. But as I was walking down the street to lunch, I found in pounding through my head. I found myself walking to its beat and smiling. Some of my giddiness must have slipped out because people kept smiling at me. One young man even tried to strike up a conversation with me, saying I had a great smile and asking what was making me so happy. I wanted to tell him it was my theme song but I was afraid he’d think I was a bit looney.

Of course, he wouldn’t be that far from the truth, would he?

The Pooka Life

Just a couple of quick administrative details.

First, the USPS returned my quiz prizes. Due to increased security measures, you can no longer send items in the mail via normal envelopes. And so I have re-packaged them and sent them off again. Hopefully this time they will comply with all safety regulations. Who knew?

Second, I have finally received a new batch of Baby D photos and work on his page this weekend. However, there was one picture that I just can’t wait to share.

When they call to interview me thirty years from now, asking if I had any idea that Baby D would turn out to be the world’s smartest person, I will merely show them this photo.

This kid is so cute. I may need another fish.

Charlie!

TThe whole Baby D experience jump started my maternal side. After many long and heated discussions and soul searching, Kevin and I agreed it was time to add to our little family. And, so, it is with much excitement that I can announce a new addition to the McLaughlin clan.
Please put your hands together to welcome Charlie.

Charlie is a young Siamese fighting fish. He weighs, well, not much, is approximately two inches long and cost a whopping $3.75. I think he has Kevin’s stunning profile but that could just be the proud mom in me. Charlie is adjusting to his new life very nicely. He swims around and puffs up real big when you walk by his tank. Dang, is this fish cute or what? We are currently working on dinner time. Right now, he hides under his plant when your hand makes a shadow over the bowl while feeding. However, I understand this is perfectly normal for a fish at his age and that over time he’ll learn that the hand = food.

If you’d like to send cards or gift to Charlie, he really likes bloodworms. I’m thinking by the end of the week he should be up for visitors so long as you don’t have a cold or any sort of contagious fish killing virus. *JOSH*

Actually, I highly recommend a beta. They don’t need a heated tank or circulated water because they are air breathing fish. Yup, that’s right. A beta has gills but they aren’t real efficient. Instead, a beta will pop to the top of his water and gulp air. It’s really rather neat. This means, however, that you must have a tank that is exposed to the air. If not, your beta with suffocate and die. I know, this is rather strange, but that’s what I’m told.

Beta’s are particularly nice at work. If you can, bring one in a small bowl, plop it on your desk, and you’ll find yourself relaxing and gazing at him while he swims away. It is the best stress release around. It will also cause frequent visitors to “check on the fish” which is an added bonus too. I’d love to bring Charlie to work but I doubt he’d survive the MAX ride. But if you can, do it. You won’t regret it.

Oh yes, the latest craze is to make these living vases. If you have the time/energy I suppose it’d be pretty cool. You can find some basic instructions here. Just make sure you leave some breathing room between the roots and the water for your little fishy to gulp air!

My instincts have been appeased and there is a certain balance in our house. Fish, cat, dog, person. Sort of flows together like some strange nursery rhyme. I like it!