I Win!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I have such a story to tell. However, the following blog is a giant I TOLD YOU SO with massive amount of gloating. So you Kevin sympathizers who whine at me that I should stop picking on my poor husband, you may not want to read this.

Where to begin. I’m so excited I can barely think straight.

Kevin and I have been having an ongoing battle over the cars. As it turns out, every few days we switch cars. Since I leave the house first, I have to take whatever car is parked first on the driveway. Some days it’s the Civic, others the Volvo. But lately I have been noticing a disturbing trend.

Whenever we switch cars, I always end up with an empty tank.

At first, I thought it was just happenstance. Just some odd twist of fate that every time I used a car after Kevin it needed a refill. After a couple of weeks of this, however, I began to suspect something was afoot and confronted the culprit. After intense questions and the removal of a few toenails, Kevin admitted that he often drove a car to empty and then switched them on me knowing I’d go to the gas station for him. This made me grumpy and I chastised him.

Now, the other thing you need to know is that the Civic has a low gas light. Kevin will drive it until the light comes on and then switch to the Volvo. But the Volvo, being much older, only has a gas needle. Kevin’s technique is to drive the Volvo until the needle hits the red and then leave it for me. He is constantly telling me that the Volvo won’t be out of gas until the needle drops below the red. “No,” I told him “you have to refill the Volvo when it hits the red. Once it goes below the red, it’s on empty.” Kevin’s response to this is to chalk it up to one of my numerous neurotic tendencies and ignore me.

But last night, I went from neurotic to right.

Kevin switched cars on me Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning, I went out to the driveway and saw that the Volvo was first in line. I hoped in, started it up, and saw the needle sitting in the red. This made me very very very very very grumpy. I had just filled up the Civic and now Kevin was leaving me another car to take to the gas station. Since I only drive one mile to the park-n-ride, I decided to skip getting gas. Coming home that night, I debated with myself. Get gas or no? I decided two could play this game and passed the gas station. If Kevin was so sure about this whole below the red theory, he could just keep on driving the Volvo for all I cared.

Thursday morning I made sure I had the Civic. I admit, I felt a little guilty that morning but I soon got over it. That night, Kevin called around 8pm to say he getting off of work and was going to drop off a friend and then head home. I waited and waited and waited. He finally appeared around 10pm soaked and grumpy because, yes, you guessed it, HE RAN OUT OF GAS!!!! He got in the Volvo, saw the needle in the red and decided to drive it 20 miles to Vancouver and back WITHOUT STOPPING FOR GAS!!! Yes, he planned to leave it for me again. Only, his plans fell apart.

I’m afraid I was very undignified as I followed him from room to room chanting, “who was right? Huh? Who was right?” over and over again. Poor Kevin could only hang his head in shame and mutter “you were right, you were right.” I think at one point I actually burst into a spontaneous happy dance.

Kevin has promised to fill up whenever a tank is less than half full. He also needs a new pair of shoes from walking in the mud/rain for 10 blocks to the nearest gas station.

Oh happy day, oh happy day, my husband got stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night in the pouring rain because he didn’t do what I said.

Can life get any better than this????

Just Thinkin’

I’ve been thinking about tatoos. Don’t worry mom, I’m not going to get one. It’s more of a philosophical debate along the same lines of “if the house was on fire and you could either save your dog or your cat, who would you chose.”

Sometimes, for no real reason I can put my finger on, I find myself wondering, if I was to get a tatoo, what would it be? I mean, this is something that would be stuck on me forever. What possible symbol or phrase is there that I was sure I’d like forever. For me, forever is a very scary thought. I mean, it’s always, the entire enchilada, for ever and ever. And for the life on me, I couldn’t think of anything that I was sure I’d like for the rest of my life.

Something inconsequential like a flower or a happy face seemed silly. I mean, why tatoo something that means nothing? A name is just asking for trouble unless it’s MOM but that’s just too pirate/sailor for my taste. Snakes and skulls just aren’t my cup of tea. So I’ve been turning this over in my mind with no success.

Until today.

Yes, in a moment of pure insight, I figured out what I could permanently place on my body without fear of every changing my mind. I’d go for one of these. (The little green symbol.)

I know, I know, horoscopes are silly and too general to be true but I honestly believe that I was born under the right sign. I’m proud to say I am a stubborn and bull-headed person and I always will be. So for me, I’d have to say that the Taurus glyph of the circle and horns would be my tatoo of choice.

Of course, this only answers half of my tatoo dilemma. Now I have to decide where I would want to put it. That question I am still debating. I’ll let you know what I decided.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this scenario…. I drag you into a tatoo parlor and won’t let you leave until you go under the needle. What would you choose? (Harder than you thought, huh?)

The Pooka Life

Ah, Halloween. I love this day. What a wonderful excuse to do something crazy.

One of my favorite Halloweens was junior year of college. I was living in a house in the middle of a real neighborhood with the potential for lots of trick-or-treaters. We were talking about what we wanted to do when I remembered the bobbing ghost.

You see, when I was little, we used to go to the YMCA pumpkin patch to buy our jack-o-lantern. When you got there, you’d find a bunch of kids back by the hay jumping and screaming like crazy where someone had rigged this ghost on an invisible line. It would just hang there in the breeze until you tried to touch it. Then it would jump out of your reach. Sometime, the ghost would be replaced with a little pumpkin but the game was always the same. I don’t remember every seeing where the person who did the pulling was hiding. It always seemed like the ghost could move all on its own.

Now, after telling this story, Roger, Anitra and Mike all decided this was the prank for us. We had this big tree out front by the walkway to the door. We found that if you climbed out of the second story window, you could hide behind the rise of the roof and still see the front walk. So we rigged up this ghost and ran the line through the tree and up to the roof. As the poor unsuspecting trick-or-treaters approached, we’d drop it on them and give them the fright of their lives. We actually freaked out quite a few moms as well. It was a blast!

I thought about trying something similar tonight. We have a great tree for it and will definitely get some kids. The real problem is our roof pitch is pretty scary and it’s rainy out. Not much fun to cling to a roof in the rain. I have a feeling this set-up can only be accomplished in warm weather climates like San Diego. Ah well, it’s a great trick if you can pull it off.

So I guess tonight I’ll just dish out candy and try to keep Artie from eating any of the small children that wander onto our doorstep. Unlike last year, I hide all the Halloween candy so my husband (aka Candy Smurf) didn’t eat it all. Next year thought, I’m going to plan something good. I’m one of those people who likes the trick over the treat. Hee hee.

Another Growl Class

Last night was another Growl Class.

This time, it was all about meeting other dogs on a walk. Each dog was paired up and brought to the center of the room. Then, they were slowly walked toward each other. When they began to get aggressive, the owner turned around, feed them treats and returned to the start. Eventually, the dogs were able to walk past each other without barking or lunging. It was pretty neat.

Except we were paired with Bear. Now, this dog could have been named either Bear or Psycho. Either one would have been correct. He is the most vicious and out of control dog there. He’s huge and shaggy and just barks and lunges at anything that moves. I thought Artie was an aggressive dog. I was soooo wrong. Artie is a protective dog. Bear is a monster. It takes both of his owners and one assistant to keep him in control during class. And that’s barely in control.
So when we get to class, there’s this list on the board. We are last in line and paired with Bear. Kevin and I spend a good half hour talking strategy. After watching a few of the more mellow dogs run through this exercise, we realize we could be in trouble. They want us to walk Artie 2 feet from Bear. Not going to happen.

It’s our turn and Kevin gets up. Only one person can lead the dog during this exercise and Kev lost the toss. He pulls out the good treats – leftover Chicken Kev from our dinner party – and heads bravely into the center of the room. They are having trouble getting Bear out of his area. He’s basically freaking out and going wild. Kevin and Artie are on my end of the room and poor sweet Artie is beginning to look a little leery.

Then the moment arrives. Kevin has to start walking toward Bear. Bear, of course, has no problems walking toward Artie. In fact he is lunging toward Artie, ready to attack. The only problem is, Artie only has eyes for mom. That’s right. He just sat there, staring at me. Kevin tried sweet talk, he tried the chicken, he even tried pulling. But Artie wouldn’t move or walk. Just looked at me across the room with his big brown eyes. It took Kevin and an instructor to pull Artie down the room. He never even looked at Bear.

They’re on the other end of the room and Artie has his eyes locked on me. This time, when it’s time to walk down the room, Artie makes a bee-line for me. Right past Bear, no bark no lunge. Now, because Artie is ignoring Bear, Bear begins to calm down. He’s walking without barking. No lunging or attacking. Everyone in the class starts clapping and yelling “Good job Bear! What a good boy!!” Hey, what about our good boy??? Why aren’t they cheering my dog? It was actually pretty funny. When Artie was on my end of the room, he wouldn’t walk. When they finally dragged him down to the other end, he’d come running straight for me.

The instructor says next time we do this, I’ll have to walk Artie instead of Kevin. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that won’t work either. He’s even worse when Kevin’s not around. Ah well, at least Bear came out looking like a hero. But Kevin & I know it’s just because he had Artie as a partner.

The Pooka Life

It was a rough computer weekend at my house. I think Windows figured out what I was planning and began launching counter-measures because things quickly went from bad to worse in the basement.

First off, I decided Mandrake was the Linux program for me. They have a very friendly web page with lots of cute penguin icons. This sold me. The only thing is, the program is GIANT. OZ was download for well over an hour and hadn’t even made a dent in the files. Meanwhile, Frankenstein was under attack. I think Windows sensed the presence of the penguin or something because all of a sudden, I started losing monitors.

Oh yes, have I mentioned Kevin is addicted to ebay? If not, consider yourself informed and read on.

Kevin had just bought me a newly used monitor off of ebay. It was a nice 17 inch for only $50 bucks plus $44 shipping. (Yes, I know what you’re thinking, I could get a new one at Fry’s for that much but remember, Kevin has a disease. He cannot control himself on ebay.)

So my newly used monitor showed up and was plugged in. After about 15 minutes, it starts to flicker and the wiggle. I found I could use it for about 12 minutes before it went bad. Grrrr. So after chastising Kevin, I had him bring back the old monitor. Only problem is, after a few minutes of surfing, this one goes dead. Total black screen of death.

Now tell me, what are the odds of losing two monitors back to back like that? Coincidence? I don’t think so. Because poor Frankenstein is now blinded and monitor-less, we had to abort on the plan to install Linux. I’m worried what’s going to go next. I don’t trust Windows. Not one bit.

The Pooka Life

Deep in the basement, in the back corner of our house, you’ll find a small room by the water heater. This is our computer center. In it, there live two computers. Kevin’s is called OZ. It is has the latest and greatest everything on it. It’s main purpose is the surf the net and play computer games and it does both very very well. On the other side of the room is my computer. It’s name is Frankenstein because it is made from bits and pieces. I swear there are parts that are held together by duck tape. But I love Frankie. It hops on the network and every now and then I’ll team up with Kevin on his latest computer game. It can access the Internet and surf just fine even if it does have a very small screen. We get along quite wonderfully, Frankie and I. So while OZ is jamming away, we chug along quite happily.

But I’ve decided that Frankie needs to come out the closet. That’s right, I’m thinking of going LINUX. I figure, why not? He’s already messed up hardware wise, why not mix up the OS as well and make him a true freak. Of couse, I’m not real sure what LINUX is but I know there’s a really cute penguin involved which is a good sign. I mean, what sort of a mascot is a window anyway???

But I believe in reading the directions before trying to install something so I’m off to do a little research. So far, the amount of information is overwhelming. This might take me a little longer than planned but that’s ok. Wish me luck!