Yesindeedie. Too much candy will make you sick. How do I know this? Not because my children sing about it incessantly let. Nor because they ate too much candy last night. Oh no, I have a much more personal and first hand knowledge about how awful you feel after glutting yourself on mini-candy bars.

Halloween started out great. Kev can home at a decent hour, the kids were dressed and ready to hit the road, the weather was cold but clear. Perfect. Around 6:30pm, Kevin and the girls headed out the door leaving me home to dole out the candy.

Now, I had a plan. My brilliant idea was to dump all the candy I really love into the candy bowl first. This would ensure that it would be totally given away and not available to lie around the house and mock me and my lack of self discipline. The plan was brilliant in design but lacked in execution. I was blissfully unaware of my folly as I heaped our candy bowl with mounds of scrumptious chocolately goodness.

You see, I had forgotten about the time delay. I don’t know about your house, be we seem to get hit in waves. We’ll have a stream of 20 kids marching up and down our porch and then….. a dead space of ten minutes until the next mob descends. It was that dead space that did me in.

The candy had just hit the bowl when the first fist knocked on my door. Smiling, I opened it up and grabbed candy to drop into eager bags. One, five, fifteen kids tromped to my door. And then, as quickly as they came, they were gone. I closed the door and realized I was alone with a giant mound of my favorite candy and I had nothing to do. I couldn’t really go start the dishes or fold the laundry. No watching TV or reading to keep my hands busy. Instead I paced up and down our front room, peering out our window, willing a kid (any kid) to head up my front walk. After 2 minutes, I caved. I scarfed a teeny tiny Almond Joy – perfect in its balance of crunchy almond, bitter dark chocolate, and dry sweet coconut. I had just crumpled the wrapper when my hand snaked out to grab a lollipop – sour apple flavor drizzled in caramel. When the next kid wave hit, the trick or treaters found me with a bowl of candy, a pock full of wrappers, and a lollipop in my mouth. It quickly went down hill. By the time my candy bowl needed a refill, I didn’t feel too great. Luckily, the next candy in line was the stuff I don’t care for so it was easy for me to abstain but the damage was done. The candy was getting crazy in my tummy and it was not fun.

I will say, however, that there was a silver lining. As planned, I handed out all the stuff I like and what we have left doesn’t tempt me in the least. However, I forgot to take into account the fact that my children would be tromping home with little tubs full of yumminess. In fact, as I type this, my tummy is again not so hot and I am surrounded by empty candy wrappers. Did you know that Milky Ways now come in dark chocolate? Or that Tootsie rolls have a vanilla flavor? That SweetTarts are, in fact, both sweet and tart?

Oh help me. Please. Come to my house and take all these bite sized temptations away from me!