OK, I admit it, I’m old. I get that, but still. What is going on with cell phones? Have I totally missed the boat here?

Like 99.9% of this town, I own a cell phone. It’s an old pay-as-you-go phone with no camera or video screen or ability to access the web or play music. Basically, it’s a phone. It makes telephone calls.

Now, I always take my cell phone with me but for whatever reason, I view it as an emergency item. Like the emergency diaper or my AAA card. If I run out of gas, get a flat tire, or need to let someone know I’ll be late, I’ll use my cell phone. But if it’s not a dire situation, I don’t.

I know, I know, I’m old. OK?

But today at the park, I just sat around and stared open mouthed at the number of moms who were on the phone. It was crazy. They were trying to push their child in the swing while ordering transcripts. Helping little ones down the slide while checking account balances. Trying to pick their kid out of the dirt and brush him off while yapping to customer service about an unauthorized charge to their card. I sat their and listened to account numbers and complaints and couldn’t believe my ears. Of course, every few minutes they’d ask the person on the other line to “hold on a sec” while they dealt with their kid but that didn’t seem to phase them. I was most impressed by the two moms who were on the phone, pushing their kids in swings, and conversing with eachother during moments when they were on hold.

It was surreal and so horribly wrong. At least, I thought so. But then again, I was one of two moms not balancing a phone on one shoulder an a toddler in her arms so maybe I’m the abnormality here. I tell you, things are going to hell in a handbasket. Back in my day, phones had cords and you were lucky if you had your own in your room let alone in your purse.

Man, am I old.