For the last week or so my lower back has been killing me. By the end of the day, I can barely bend over from the ache. I thought it was from lifting all 30 lbs of Leina so I started cutting back. I’d have Leina walk up the stairs herself or have Kevin carry her if he was home. But even these changes did little to relieve my back pain.

So it was an eye opener when I took Kulia in for her 4 month appointment. I knew my kid was a chunker but she clocked in at 17 lbs 3 oz. That’s more than half a Leina! She’s in the 97th percentile for weight and length. I’m thinking the source of my strain may just be this chubba chubba and not her sister. Of course, this makes life a bit more difficult because I cannot expect Kulia to get herself upstair…. yet. At the rate this kid is going I expect her be crawling by Christmas. She’s simply amazing.

And sweet. Oh so wonderfully sweet. Before Leina, I wondered what it would be like to be a stay at home mom. Would I be happy? Fullfilled? Would I feel cut off from the “real” world? Would I feel like I was losing out on precious professional advancement? I’ve been so relieved to find that I love staying here with my girls. That I feel rewarded and challenged. That I feel like I’m doing something important with my time. Sure, I’ll probably never get my career totally back on track but somehow, all that sort of melts away when I look at Kulia’s sweet grin or play hide and seek with Leina. (Who, by the way is hilarious. When you ask “where’s Leina?” she’ll call out from where ever she’s hiding “I’m over here mommmy!”)

I am surprised at how grateful I am for this time. I realize how lucky I am that we can afford for me to stay home. The fact that we have the option is a luxury in and of itself. I know Kevin works hard to bring home the bucks but I also know that he appreciates how hard I work to keep these girls happy and healthy and thriving. And I don’t believe there is any other “job” that I could do right now that would be as important to me. So when people ask me “when are you going back to work?”, I just smile and respond that I’m currently working at the best job ever and I have to plans to quit any time soon.

Of course, having a live-in poopy diaper changer would be a nice perk but hey, that’s what my union is for, right?