I can’t believe my mom is leaving me tomorrow. I just can’t believe it.

She’s part of the routine….part of our household. The idea of facing the day without her is so foreign. It hit me tonight that I’ve never given Kulia a bath without Tutu. I took Leina up to her crib today alone without my mom and Leina looked at me perplexed and asked, “where’s tutu?” Even she has come to expect her. For the first two weeks after Kulia’s birth, I wasn’t suppose to lift anything heavier than Kulia. This ruled out Leina. So my mom would come upstairs with us at nap time and lift Leina into the crib for me. The first few times she did this, Leina look at me with confusion and maybe a little fright. This was not how nap was done. By the end of the first week, Leina would run to Tutu and say “up…up” when naps came. Leina had totally accepted my mom into her daily life. At dinner, she names chairs. “Momma, Daddy, Tutu!” she exclaims pointing to each seat in turn. I feel the same. I just know that tomorrow, after Tutu has headed out the door, there will be a giant hole in this house and in all our hearts.