Well, the second blood proved good news as Leina’s billirubin count dropped from 17 to 14 over the last twent-four hour period so it looks like she’s cleared the jaundice hurdle and won’t have to go for a baby tanning session. Phew. Even better, she has started gaining weight and is back up at 8lbs 1oz today which is another relief.

I had thought that birth was the hard part. Nobody warned me about this whole breast feeding thing. I guess I supposed you just kind of put them on the breast and nature took over. That would be incorrect… at least for Leina. There has been a very tough learning curve in this house. It’s so frustrating to hold this hungry crying baby in your arms, know what you need to do, but unable to do it. The worst is at night when you’re so tired and groggy. All I think about is her wasting away to a little stick baby becauce I’m unable to do my duty as a mom.

Thank goodness, Granny Tutu is here to reassure me that Suzy and Daniel went through the same process. Now, that kid is a chunker so I know there’s hope. Leina and I are just beginning to get our nursing grove together but there has been a price. A steep price.

My boobies.

Yes, I have sacrificed my boobies on the alter of motherhood. I know this because last night after nursing, Leina feel off the boob not with the usual milk mustache but a blood mustache. Horrified, we examined my poor mangled boob and sure enough, it had been sucked raw to the point that blood was flowing freely.

Upon seeing this, I immediately turned to Leina who was sleeping happily and said, “you mean baby, why are you hurting your momma?” My mom replied, “don’t blame Leina!” Well, who else is there to blame? Unless some other kid is sneaking in while I’m sleeping and nursing without me knowing, I’m pretty sure that my kid is to blame here.

You see, Leina doesn’t nurse. Nor does she suckle. Oh no, my darling girl guzzles. She claims down with gums of steel and sucks like a vaccum cleaner. I’ve started calling her my little Hoover but after that first blood, we’ve changed her name to the little baracuda. I wonder how you say baracuda in Hawaiian? We might be changing her birth certificate if she keeps this up.

The funny part was, after the initial shock, my mom and I thought, “quick, grab the camera a take a picture!” Our next thought, thankfully, was that maybe this wasn’t the sort of picture you want to send to friends and relatives. Good to know the lack of sleep hasn’t totally robbed us of all sense of decorum or you’d be starting at a digital picture of my left breast and trust me, it wouldn’t be anywhere near sexy.