I never thought of myself as a selfish person. I thought I was pretty considerate and giving and not too terribly self-centered.

And then I had Leina.

I never realized how much of my day was for my own personal gratification. I never realized how hard it would be to give away everything that was me and to turn my whole life over to another. I never thought it would be so difficult to honestly and truely put myself second. I just never knew.

And then I had Leina.

Now, I can go all day without food or sleep and not really think about it. I’ll sit with the fullest bladder for an hour afraid to move because my daughter is finally asleep and she needs her rest so badly I just can’t wake her. I find myself gazing down at her at 4 am as she nurses and there is no resentment at this interruption of my sleep, no anger or bitterness, just a tired realization that this is what moms do.

I guess that means I’m finally and truely a mother.

And all because of Leina.