I cannot find the video camera, and I am going crazy.

I have opened every box, scattered every pile of junk and dug through every closet and drawer in this house and nothing. Nada. Not even a cable. And here’s the crazy part. When I was packing, I specifically DID NOT pack the video camera with the other electronic equipment because I was afraid Leina would start crawling soon and I wanted it handy. Ha! Instead, I kept it out until the very last day when I then packed it away so well it has been swallowed whole and now exists only in an alternative universe.

And, of course, Leina is now crawling.

Not too happy with this crawling thing. Leina is estatic but me and the dog are thinking this may not be such a great step. She is everywhere now. EVERYWHERE. It’s like she has asexually divided into three babies. One second she’s playing in the living room with her toys, the next second she’s yanking Artie’s tail in the hallway, and then she’s instantly in the kitchen trying to drink out of the pets’ water dish. Ack! How can one kid be in so many places at once. It’s un-natural I tell you.

To combate this sudden adventurous spirit, I’m working on “no touch”. When Leina gets to something off limits, I adopt my stern, I-mean-business-don’t-mess-with-me-face I spent 40 grand in law school to learn. I couple this with a stern head shake and the baby sign for touch and admonish my little sprit.

“No touch, Leina. (Shake head, stern face.) No touch.”

And her response? She stops, takes in my serious lawyer face, and then starts to laugh and reach (once again) for the forbidden item. I’m thinking I wasted a lot of money on law school ’cause Leina is not daunted at all by my stern deminor. In fact, she appears to find it quite amusing.

If I could find the *&@(*$#-ing camera I’d show you how she laughs and laughs but nooooooo, that would be too easy.

AARRRGGGH!!!! I’m off to prowl the house some more. It’s here. I just know it and I WILL find it. (Insert stern lawyer face here.)