1. Slept in till 12:30.
2. Survived Kevin’s mystery meal.
3. Ate ice cream in front of a roaring fire.
4. Played Diablo on the computer.
5. Watched Evolution and Stealing Beauty.
6. Finished a cross-stitch project.
7. Paid bills.
8. Vacuumed.
9. Talked to my parents.
10. Brunch with Kevin’s Dad & CarlaMac
11. Read.
12. Wandered around Home Depot looking for Kevin.
13. Wandered around Michael’s Craft Store looking for Kevin.
14. Attempted to vacuumed the dog hair out of the Civic, realized impossibility of task and gave up.
15. Watched Kevin pump gas.
16. Walked the dogs & petted the cats.
17. Installed shelves in the shower.
18. E-mailed Christmas pictures to Erica and Auntie Bev.
19. Ate leftovers.
20. Napped.
Category Archives: Kevin
Nervous
I’m a little nervous today for three reasons. Independently, they are cause for only minor alarm but happening together…. Well, lets just say I’m out of un-bitten fingernails.
Factoid #1 – I added Kevin to Schwab.
Now, when you get married, one of the first big hassles is what to do about finances. You each had separate bank accounts, credit cards, and budgeting techniques back when you were a swinging single. After a few rounds of knock-down-drag-out fights about how much to spend where, or who spent more at the craft store vs Home Depot, you eventually settle on some compromise or decide to file for divorce. Our compromise was that I was in charge of all the money. (This makes sense to me as I was always the banker in monopoly and have a recurring dream where I’m rolling around my bed in piles of dollar bills but I digress.) Every week, I give Kevin his $20 fun money and admonish him not to spend it all in one place. Through a complex system of bribes, treats, and punishment, I have managed to wean him off of his credit cards. I had added him to all my accounts and the only account he had not yet gotten his hands on was Schwab.
Now, Schwab is my account. It’s where the big bucks sit and earn interest. You don’t touch Schwab unless it’s for something important. Up until last week, Kevin wasn’t on the account. In fact, Kevin wasn’t allowed within spitting distance of Schwab. If he even looked at it funny, I was on him like Artie on Collin*. That’s right, he couldn’t write a check, use the credit card or hit an ATM without me being there. But in a moment of weakness, I agreed to add him and yesterday the new checks arrived in the mail. Kevin tried to hide it but I saw him break into his greedy-smurf hand rub and I could almost see the pictures of Gforce 3 video cards and radial arm saws dancing through his head.
Factoid #2 – Kevin has a week off.
WaferTech is a 24 hour fab. This means that at every moment of every day there is some poor engineer working. In order to remain fair, the engineers rotate through. This is known as “being on shift.” You work for 12 hours, get off 12 hours, work for 12 hours, and so on. In order to compensate for this awful work schedule, you get a week off of work. So Kevin just finished up his shift and is currently in his week off mode. This consists of a lot of computer playing, surfing ebay for computer parts, and trying to devise ways to break into the Schwab account.
Factoid #3 – Kevin is going to Costco today.
On his days off, Kevin hits Costco because he can go during the day and avoid the massive crowds and actually park within sight of the building. However, since he is on his own, he has no loving wife to restrain him so he usually ends up standing at the car with a cart full of stuff wondering how he’s going to justify spending $300 in an half an hour.
Now, put it all together and you can see why, as I type these words, my hands are shaking with fear. Kevin has been surfing the web, dreaming of all the cool stuff he wants/needs, Kevin has access to Schwab and suddenly has the purchasing power to buy all that cool stuff he wants/need, and Kevin is going to Costco where not only do they sell all the cool stuff but it comes in a 4-pack which, if you break the cost down, means you can get more for less.
I’m debating calling Schwab and reporting my card stolen. I have a feeling, that’s my only hope…
*Collin is a very nice man who came over for dinner last week. Artie, for reasons unknown, decided Collin was a threat to his dominance and spent the whole night humping his leg. We apologized profusely and Collin, gentleman that he is, laughed it off. However, he has kindly refused all other dinner invitations and, well, I don’t blame him.
I Win!
Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I have such a story to tell. However, the following blog is a giant I TOLD YOU SO with massive amount of gloating. So you Kevin sympathizers who whine at me that I should stop picking on my poor husband, you may not want to read this.
Where to begin. I’m so excited I can barely think straight.
Kevin and I have been having an ongoing battle over the cars. As it turns out, every few days we switch cars. Since I leave the house first, I have to take whatever car is parked first on the driveway. Some days it’s the Civic, others the Volvo. But lately I have been noticing a disturbing trend.
Whenever we switch cars, I always end up with an empty tank.
At first, I thought it was just happenstance. Just some odd twist of fate that every time I used a car after Kevin it needed a refill. After a couple of weeks of this, however, I began to suspect something was afoot and confronted the culprit. After intense questions and the removal of a few toenails, Kevin admitted that he often drove a car to empty and then switched them on me knowing I’d go to the gas station for him. This made me grumpy and I chastised him.
Now, the other thing you need to know is that the Civic has a low gas light. Kevin will drive it until the light comes on and then switch to the Volvo. But the Volvo, being much older, only has a gas needle. Kevin’s technique is to drive the Volvo until the needle hits the red and then leave it for me. He is constantly telling me that the Volvo won’t be out of gas until the needle drops below the red. “No,” I told him “you have to refill the Volvo when it hits the red. Once it goes below the red, it’s on empty.” Kevin’s response to this is to chalk it up to one of my numerous neurotic tendencies and ignore me.
But last night, I went from neurotic to right.
Kevin switched cars on me Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning, I went out to the driveway and saw that the Volvo was first in line. I hoped in, started it up, and saw the needle sitting in the red. This made me very very very very very grumpy. I had just filled up the Civic and now Kevin was leaving me another car to take to the gas station. Since I only drive one mile to the park-n-ride, I decided to skip getting gas. Coming home that night, I debated with myself. Get gas or no? I decided two could play this game and passed the gas station. If Kevin was so sure about this whole below the red theory, he could just keep on driving the Volvo for all I cared.
Thursday morning I made sure I had the Civic. I admit, I felt a little guilty that morning but I soon got over it. That night, Kevin called around 8pm to say he getting off of work and was going to drop off a friend and then head home. I waited and waited and waited. He finally appeared around 10pm soaked and grumpy because, yes, you guessed it, HE RAN OUT OF GAS!!!! He got in the Volvo, saw the needle in the red and decided to drive it 20 miles to Vancouver and back WITHOUT STOPPING FOR GAS!!! Yes, he planned to leave it for me again. Only, his plans fell apart.
I’m afraid I was very undignified as I followed him from room to room chanting, “who was right? Huh? Who was right?” over and over again. Poor Kevin could only hang his head in shame and mutter “you were right, you were right.” I think at one point I actually burst into a spontaneous happy dance.
Kevin has promised to fill up whenever a tank is less than half full. He also needs a new pair of shoes from walking in the mud/rain for 10 blocks to the nearest gas station.
Oh happy day, oh happy day, my husband got stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night in the pouring rain because he didn’t do what I said.
Can life get any better than this????
Kitchen Mess
Our kitchen was a pit last night. Dishes piled in the sink, food splatters on the stove, tupperware filed with growing green stuff. Just out and out gross. I will admit that I was partially responsible. I’ve been handing my dishes to Kevin at night under the assumption that he was cleaning them. And, as we all know, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of yourself and umption..
So I spent twenty minutes loading the dishwasher, scrubbing the counters, and mumbling mild obscenities to myself. Kevin, smart man that he is, grabbed the dog and went for a long walk that lasted well through my cleaning tirade. Upon his return, he found me still grumpy so be began to do his Christopher Walken Weapon of Choice dance imitation. He knows that melts me every time.
The Pooka Life
Went with the boots today. Kevin walked by as I was slipping into them and said – “ah, the ubiquitous black boots, every woman should have a pair.” Huh? Is that my Kevin? Usually his comments range from “what’s for dinner” to “would it be ok if I went and played on the computer”. Since when did he develop a fashion vocabulary? Upon further questioning, I learned that he has been reading my fashion magazines. What a goof.
I’ve also got him hooked on Sex and the City. We don’t have HBO but I found out that you can rent the old season at the local video store. So I picked one up thinking I could watch it while Kevin played computer. Only, he ended up watching one episode with me and got hooked. He went out and rented the whole season and we watched something like 20 episodes in a week. It was crazy! Kevin’s favorite is Miranda which surprised me. I think she’s my favorite as well. I loved the episode where she bought an apartment by herself and ended up overfeeding her cat for zany reasons. But I’m digressing here….
Kevin is a very simple and sweet person. He is the quintessential engineer – very smart but sort of off in his own world. Our old friend Shanda said that if Kevin where an animal, he’d be a manatee. Kevin wanted to be something a little more exciting but I think manatee is a pretty good match. They are considered gentle giants of the sea – you never hear about anyone getting attacked by raging manatees. This animal naming has sort of stuck and every now and then someone sends us a manatee postcard or stuffed animal much to Kevin’s dismay.
But the thing I wanted to blog about most regarding Kevin is the fact that yesterday he saved a dog’s life. Now, I think if you save an animal’s life, you get some sort of extra bonus points that you can cash in later. He was out walking Artie last night and they went past the park. It was dark but Kevin could see a bunch of dogs running around. It was looking like a wild pack so Kev decided just to keep on walking but one big dog saw Artie and started running across the park. Now, normally, this would be no big deal except Kevin and Artie were walking across the street from the park. As the dog came up to the street, Kevin realized two things. 1) The dog was going to run across the street and 2) there was a car coming very fast down the street. So he did the only thing he could, he jumped into the street and started waiving his hands yelling – “Look out! Stop! Look out!” The must have freaked out the driver to have a person jump in front of his car because he slowed down and was able to see and stop the car in time. Kevin says there was about 1 foot between the car and the dog.
The owner comes running out of the park and Kevin goes ballistic. He starts yelling at the guy – “DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR DOG??? DO YOU??? KEEP HIM ON A LEASH!!!” I guess I should explain by saying a few weeks ago this exact same scenario played out only the results were much worse. Kevin & Artie on one side of the street, dog off leash on the other, dog runs across street only this time Kevin couldn’t stop the car. He heard a squeal of tire, a thud, and yelp of the dog as the car hit it. It traumatized him horribly. So when it happened again last night, Kevin lost his cool on the owner. The sad part is, the guy didn’t seem that upset by the whole thing which only made Kevin angrier.
I know we tend to treat our dogs like they are little people but they aren’t. If they see a cat or another dog or even a squirrel they will run. They don’t understand cars or roads. To them, it’s just a chase and there is nothing you can do except yell and watch. For this reason Artie *never* goes outside unless he is on leash. It’s our responsibility to take care of him and we take that very seriously. If we want to let him run, we either take him somewhere fenced in or off into the wilds where there are no cars to jeopardize him. Have you ever seen a mother or father with a kid near a road? They have a protective death grip on the child, constantly aware that at any moment their kid could try and dart across the street. In my book, the same is true with your dog.
The Pooka Life
Chrissie is staying home tomorrow and being a bum. I have to work. This sucks.
I’m in the doghouse (with Artie) because I broke the car stereo and I burned our dinner tonight.
But Chrissie, the most wonderful wife on the planet, has forgiven me because I’m cute – and a dork. 😉