I have spent all day trying to get stuff out of my office and it appears to have backfired. Papers are everywhere, files willy-nilly and I have no idea how to tackle this mountain.

Last night, while watching West Wing, there was this commercial for financial planning. A professionally dressed woman is cleaning out her office with her husband. Picking up awards and nick-nacks and putting in into a box whistling a happy tune. Her husband says something along the lines of… 14 years of work and it all fits into one box. She takes one last happy look at her now clean office, hits the lights, and strolls down the stairs with a box that looks like it weights .5 pounds.

Something is seriously wrong because I have only been here four years, but I have already filled five boxes full of very heavy stuff. Where does it all come from? Some stuff, I can only look at and wonder – what on earth possessed me to bring a pizza cutter to work. But there it is, in my desk drawer buried under 12 bottles of lotion. (Strangely enough, I never recall noticing my skin being dry at work but it must be. How else to explain the myriad of creme in the back drawer of my desk?)

I figure I’ll have to pace myself and rather than jump in the middle, I’m going to work methodically from one corner of my desk, inch by inch, to the other. After that, I tackle my computer. Just the thought of having to print out and file all the stuff I’ve collected over the last few years gives me the heeby-geebies.

May have to enslave Kevin and come in over a weekend. Wonder how much U-Hauls are renting for these days…..

So yesterday I quit my job.

Ok, I suppose that isn’t totally true since I am sitting here in my office surrounded by paperwork that needs to get done. But I did have a strangely surreal talk with my bosses yesterday who, after the initial shock of it all, were very kind. As most of you know, I’ve been bitten by the restless bug. There’s been a change brewing in the air for quite a while now and I just haven’t been able to put my finger on it. Then, things sort of crystalized and I realized that I wanted to try something different. What is that you ask? I have no idea. All I know is I’m not happy where I am so I’m going to go somewhere else.

I know this is slightly crazy but I’ve always been one to leap first and look later. I mean, I enrolled at Lewis & Clark law school without a visit or even the foggiest idea of what Portland was like and now, I love it. It was one of the best leaps of faith I have ever made. I think sometimes you just have to resign yourself to the hands of something greater and believe the best will happen.

Actually. I am seriously toying with the idea of hanging out my own shingle and taking a stab at the law firm of McLaughlin and Associates. Of course, there wouldn’t be any other associates so I guess it’d be called Law Office of Christine McLaughlin. Not a bad ring, eh? But that’s all down a very long road. Right now, I have to figure out how to close down four years of work and put years of knowledge onto paper and into files.

One of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, once said life is like driving at night. You can only see as far ahead as your headlights but you can make the whole journey that way. So right now, I can see about six feet of road. Once I’m through that distance, I’ll move on to the next.

And yes, I will post every square foot of my journey here. Anyone want a lift?

My friend, Laura, sent me this joke. Finally, a lawyer joke that doesn’t involve snakes, sharkes or killing lawyers……

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the
window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before
takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the
two physicians. They introduced themselves and settled
back for the flight.

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was
settling in when the physician in the window seat said,” I think
I’ll get up and get a coke.”

“No problem,” said the attorney, “I’ll get it for you.”

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney’s
shoe and spat in it.

When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, “That
looks good, I think I’ll have one too.”

Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was
gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in
it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the
flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet
into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

“How long must this go on?” he asked. “This fighting between our
professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in
shoes and pissing in cokes?”

Have discovered the source of the cows – kowsforkids. Can’t wait for the auction. Wonder what a fake plastic cow sells for these days…..

There’s a cow in front of my building.

I know what you’re thinking. “Ha ha Chrissie, very funny, April Fools to you too.” But I’m serious. There’s a cow in front of my building. Actually, it may be a bull. It has udders and horns. Since I’m not up on my bovine anatomy, you’ll have to forgive my confusion. But I swear, it’s standing right outside my office door.

Laura, my co-worker, refused to believe me. I had to walk down to the first floor and out the doors with her and the whole way she kept saying, “I’m not falling for this.” Of course, once she saw the bull/cow, she changed her tune.

Greg, our assistant, says they are all over downtown. He saw another one lying down up the street. I think I may go out for lunch to see how many I can find. Of course, by then the city will probably have removed them all. I, however, think it is a grand joke.

Oh yes, I suppose I should mention that these bulls/cows aren’t alive. No, they aren’t dead carcasses either. They appear to be very realistic looking sculptures that, when tapped, sound hollow. They are also all decorated differently. The bull/cow outside my building has skin made of dollar bills and the inside of it’s nostrils are paved with dollar signs. The one up the street has a golden head and its body is swirl of laughing faces. They are life sized and very very well done.

I wonder who did them? I’d love to order one for my front yard. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

Hope you have something strangely wonderful happen today as well. Who knows, maybe this bull/cow thing is nationwide. Keep you eyes open……

I’m getting a little worried about visiting Baby D. These pictures they are sending me are almost too much to bear. This kid is so cute, I am quite sure that after I see him, I will want to keep him. You see, I am a closeted baby snatcher. When I visit friends with children, at some point toward the end of our visit, I turn to Kevin and say…”You distract the parents and I’ll make a run for the boarder.” Everyone always laughs when I say this. “Ha ha, isn’t auntie Chrissie funny?” they ask eachother. If they only knew how deep my devious streak ran they would clutch their child close to them instead of laughing.

So to prepare myself for Baby D, I am going to go to the pet store and subject myself to cute puppies and furry kitties. I will hold their warm little bodies in my hands, and I will not squeal, I will not use the words “cute” or “adorable” or “please Kevin please please please can we get just one more.” No, instead I will look at them coldly and make remarks such as…”yes, I suppose this one is rather nice but it seems a bit furry for my taste.” I figure if I do this everyday until I leave my heart should be sufficently hardened to the point that I don’t grab Baby D and make a run for the boarder.

Due to the craft room remodel, the computers have been disassembled. Last night we worked on bringing them up on line and (hopefully) this weekend we will do another Baby D picture update. Until then, I will leave you with a few of my favorites….. Enjoy!

Living the Good Life
Suzy and Dan
Goofing with Elmo
More Goofing with Elmo
Baby Tears