My parents have left me. Even Kevin has abandoned me to go on shift. It’s just me and my pooch again. Sigh.

The good part is, in the morning, I don’t have to battle my dad for a fresh cup of coffee. The down side is there’s no one to keep my kitchen clean except me. Life is tough.

I do, however, have a TON of pictures from our adventures including the final phase of the kitchen remodel and the construction of the two seater adirondak chair. This is riveting stuff, believe you me. I’m going to try and get all the images up this week but no promises. It’s suppose to hit 80 tomorrow and I have a book, chilled diet coke and adirondak chair with my name on it so I probably won’t be too excited to sit here in the basement and fiddle with photos. But you never know!

My mom & I were shopping for groceries the other day and as we wander past the fish section, my mom asks if we can grill up some salmon for dinner. Being in the northwest and all, we get wonderfully fresh salmon so I said, “go for it” and left her at the fish counter. She was gone a rather long time but when she appeared, she was carrying a large, brown package with a price tag of $6.50.

So that evening, Kevin heads out to prep the coals while my mom & I prep the salmon. We decided to use water soaked wood chips for a nice smokey flavor. However, when we open the brown package, we realize that my mom didn’t buy some salmon steaks, she has bought a whole salmon!

Our local store had just received that morning twenty or so freshly caught salmon. They were selling them for .99/lbs. My mom fought her way to the front of the frenzy and bought the smallest fish she could find. But even a small salmon is pretty huge – easily 10 lbs or more. We had six two inch think steaks and two fillets in all. The best part was, it had no fish smell and was this wonderful deep orange color. Talk about fresh! We grilled it all and ate until we hurt.

Normally, I don’t like salmon (or fish in general) because the taste is too strong. However, after last night, I’ve discovered that I’m a fish snob. I only like fish that’s been out of the water less than 48 hours. ‘Cause that salmon was onolicious!

My father has turned Kevin into a felon.

It all started innocently enough. My dad loves the Portland Japanese Garden and wants to create something similar in his own back yard. The Portland Garden is filled with Japanese maples, koi ponds, and rocks. It’s the rocks that caused all the trouble.

The rocks used in Japanese gardens are not your garden variety river stones that you can pick up at your local Home Depot. Oh no, these rocks have character. They are Columbia River Blue Rocks. Cragy, pointy, and dark. An integral part the any well planned Japanese Garden, my dear father decided to pick some up on this visit to Portland.

Now, a normal father would proceed to the local decorative rock quarry and pick out some nice Columbia River Blue rocks. Notice the use of the adjective “normal” before the word father. This is called irony.

My crazy father decides he doesn’t want any stinking tame rocks. Oh no, my father wants his rocks freshly plucked from the Columbia River. My mother and I, being very intelligent women, decided to head to the movies once we realized what was looming on the horizon. (We saw Lilo & Stitch. Very cute movie.) Elmo and Kevin, however, declined to join us. Instead, they jumped into the bubba truck and headed into the Columbia River National Park.

I know you all are intelligent readers who probably see the problem right now. But, for those of you who haven’t had your morning coffee yet, let me help you out. You see, it’s against the law to take things from National Parks. And yes, this includes rocks.

So picture this, my father wading though the water, grabbing rocks from the river bed and throwing them up the ravine to my husband who hauls them, still dripping with Columbia River water, over the side of the truck. They continue up and down the river pillaging wild rocks from their natural resting places until…..

Pop quiz – to enforce the federal rules that protect National Forests, the Federal Government employs who? If you said a park ranger, you’d be right. After loading up 200lbs of virgin river rock, my husband notices a white bronco that’s pulling off of the road and slowing heading toward him. Sure enough, it’s a forest ranger and she isn’t amused. She catches Elmo, ankle deep in water, holding two beautiful rocks, one in each hand.

“Sir, this is a National Forest and you can’t remove any of the wildlife here. That includes the rocks. You’re going to have to put those back,” she said nodding at the rocks he held.

“No problem,” my dad said dropping the rocks at his feet and inching toward his truck. “We’ll just be heading out.” Luckily, the ranger didn’t bother to look in the bed of the pickup and she drove off without seeing the other 200lbs of pilfered rock. As soon as her truck rounded the corner, however, Elmo ran back, grabbed the two rocks he had just dropped, threw them into the back of the truck and then peeled out.

So there are currently 30 rocks still covered with river moss sitting in my driveway. When questioned why he had to take the rocks directly from the river instead of purchasing them like a normal person, my father responded, “when I sit on my porch and look at my garden, I want to know that some river spend hundreds of years forming these rocks before I ripped them from the riverbed.”

My father, ladies and gentleman, the rock stealer. The saddest part is, Kevin had a blast. I think he’s been seduced to the dark side. Sigh.

Sorry about the lack-o-postings but I’ve been busy with the kitchen remodel. It is officially finished and WOW is all I can say. That and Elmo rocks. Yes, there are pictures and yes, I will update the picture page but that’s somewhere in the future. Right now, to reward you for your patience, I will give you not one but two Baby D pics.

Do I spoil you guys or what?!?!

My mom just sent be more baby D pictures. They are so cute, it hurts to look at them. I’d have Kevin put them online for you all to gaze at but Kevin has left me. Yes, that’s right, last night I slept alone (if you don’t count two needy cats and a very large and pushy dog). Kevin took the day off work and headed up to Seattle for a little ocean kayaking leaving yours truely home alone. I suspect he didn’t want to help me clean the house for my parents the sneaky devil. So it was just me and the pooch and a lot of bad tv last night. Basically, my ideal evening.

Assuming he isn’t swept out to sea, he should be back relatively soon which means you’ll be able to feast your eyes on more baby D pics. One word of warning, however. I didn’t think it was possible but this kid appears to be getting cuter. Don’t believe me? Check out this sneak peak. But be warned. Contents are very cute.

Today I had my first undercover assignment.

One of Josh’s bosses, Jeff, is leaving the company and heading back east. He’s a big practical joker and before he goes, his co-workers decided to play one last joke on him. And, it’s a well known fact that if you really want to scare someone, sick a lawyer on them.

So Josh asked Kat to fake a Subpoena Duces Tecum requiring Jeff to defend himself against a bogus lawsuit with the trial date set for the day after he leaves Portland. She made a very official looking document, created a fictional lawfirm, and listed one of Jeff’s old clients as the Plaintiff.

My job was to be the process server. In downtown Portland, they’re all over the place. On thier bikes with walkie talkies, running from building to building dropping of letter, packages, and legal documents. Having used quite a few bike messangers before, I knew the routine. I dug out my old biking helmet, cut off gloves, sunglasses and beat up college bag which I could sling cross-wise over my body. Josh met me out front with the “papers” and, after giving him a few minutes to place himself inconspicuously at the front desk, I sauntered on in and announced at the front desk that I had a summons to serve. I think I freaked out the receptionist. She buzzed Jeff trying to be polite saying I had some papers for him but when he didn’t want to come up front, she broke down and told him it was a subpoena. That got him out of his office!

Poor guy, he looked really upset about he whole thing but I managed not to laugh or give myself away. I only hope he can take a joke. I must say I liked walking around downtown in my disguise. I’m thinking undercover work is definately up my alley.