Wow, an entire site devoted to toast. It even has haikus. My favorite:
Kitchen appliance
Quickly heeds my anxious prayers
Toast pressed to my cheek
My office has been set upon by the Code Red worm which basically wreaks havoc with our Internet connection. Thought this site was pretty funny even if it is a little old.
This site reminded me of Kev's cooking. Don't ask why.
Lesson for the weekend: Do not feed your dog Twizzlers.
I know, for some of you, this may seem self-evident. However, if anyone out there had any lingering doubts, let me put them to rest. Do not feed your dog Twizzlers.
In my defense, I should say that I did not actively feed Artie Twizzlers. In reality, he sort of fed himself. So I suppose the moral should be do not leave Twizzlers where your dog can eat them.
We went to see Jurassic Part III (which as just ok) with Kat & Josh. We left her dog, Melo, with Artie on the sofa at home. Kat & I got the tickets and we sent the boys to buy the snacks. Oh stop groaning, hindsight is 20/20. How were we to know that sending them alone down the candy isle would be a bad idea? OK, maybe that is a little obvious.
We ended up smuggling in 4 large sodas, a family pack of Twizzlers, 2 lb bag of peanut M&Ms, bulk raisonetts, trail mix and kettle corn. So after the movie, we had tons of candy leftover which I stashed in my purse. Came home, walked the dogs, and went to dinner. When we got back, my purse had been tipped over and there were half eaten Twizzlers strewn across the floor - slightly soggy and covered with dog saliva. Looked a bit like a shark attack - they must have tried to bite each one hoping it'd taste better than the last one only to find out they didn't like it so they spit it back out and proceeded to try another piece. Poor Artie was curled up with his ears pinned back and his tail going a mile a minute. If it is possible for a dog to look guilty, he did. Little Melo, however, had no remorse and began to gnaw on a Twizzler as we watched in dumbfounded silence.
Lets just say, the evening walk proved to be messy.
Do not feed your dog Twizzlers.
I like to check out this site every now and then just to see what the masses are looking for.
I wonder what the Love Parade is?
Dan has weighted in with his laundry thoughts...
Uh, my wife is pregnant. I sort, I wash, I dry, I fold, I put away. No problem. Remember boys, if wifey is happy, then everyone is happy, if wifey is not happy, nobody's happy.
Dan
I think I need a moment to ponder this wisdom.....
And the laundry debate continues. My dad sheds some insight on the dilemma...
Hi C & K,
I was just on your web site enjoying your pictures and thoughts. Laundry is also a touchy subject here at silver arrow. My laundry privileges were taken away from me because of my inability to properly sort the loads. But I am supposed to fold them when they are done. They are normally dumped in the middle of the bed so its difficult to ignore unless you want to sleep under a pile of clothes. But if I wait long enough JT will fold them, but then I have listen to a lecture about not pulling my weight. If the clothes are left in the dryer, I have been known to wear them out of the dryer until its empty. I'm sorry Kevin, it must be in the genes.
Dad
Dan, you are also married to a Terry woman. I'm curious how the whole laundry thing unfolds in the Walls household. Any comments???
This is why you should never ride a motorcycle. Ugh.
What sort of person comes up with this stuff? Check out the gallary for some action shots. I wonder how they really got the cat into the jar.....
Oh please. (Mental note: must remember to change password to journal this weekend.)
I've been playing around with the menu so you'll see this strange red floating thing. Haven't quite worked out all the kinks but I like it better than the big black sidebar. This whole web stuff is just too much fun!
Setting the record straight
OK, there needs to be a little reckoning here. All of you in web-land have been receiving some very one sided information. I was ousted from Blogger-ville a while ago and not able to refute the charges against me. But now I've hacked my way back in and before the landlady get's wind of this I'm going to give you my story.
First: The Guestbook - July 21st Blog
There was some extreme exageration about the guestbook setup. Now I did spend 3 days working on a guestbook form and starting in on the CGI script, but this delay was too intolerable for some 'antsy-pants'. Much to this person's credit she did find that our ISP already had guestbook fiees ready to use and downloaded them. But I *actually* set up (except for the lavendar background color) our current page and got everything working. I don't know where this 90% C, 10% K thing came from. Right about that time my Blog priveledges were revoked, now I'm starting to see a pattern of behavior.
Second: The Laundry - July 24th Blog
Now let's get one thing straight. I am a laundry machine. I can pump out a load of fully seperated, washed, and dried clothes in less than 1.5 hrs. I can wash a load of laundry as well as George W. Bush can give a tax break to big oil. When do you do laundry? Do you come home from a long day at work, walk your dog, do the dishes, then start a load of laundry at 9pm at night - which will take 1.5 hrs to finish? No, you do your laundry Sat. or Sun. morning when there's plenty of time to go around the house and find all of someone's 'little dainties' which are strewn around everywhere. Now, when someone - we'll call her 'person B' - wakes up does she want to do laundry right away when it's hot? No! She want's her coffee and her breakfast, and that IS all. There will be no talk of anything else until the grumpmiester, er, person B has had her morning coffee. The fact that she normally walks by the laundry room - with all it's baskets of washed, but *cold*, laundry - in the morning means nothing. Now, you may be asking yourself, if person B needs clean clothes and person A does the laundry on the weekend why can't person B just ask for the clothes to be warmed up when she's ready to fold them? Why does person A have to figure out when person B will be ready fold laundry 1.5 hrs before hand - so that the laundry will be at optimum folding temperature? Surely the stress of this guessing game would cause any young, good-looking, innocent laundery-dude to crack and accuse person B of being a "laundry-nazi." Why can't we all just work together to live in laundry-peace?
Thank you for listening to the truth :)
Oh goodie! More pictures! These are from the kitchen remodel we are currently doing. Watch Elmo build a completely new kitchen with just a few clicks of the mouse.
Also, I have been told to watch the webcam today at 11am. I have a feeling Kevin is up to no good.
Dance like it hurts, love like you need the money, work when people are watching.
OK, I need to know if I'm neurotic or right as usual. It all revolves around the laundry. In order to keep things neutral, I will omit the names to protect the innocent (kevin).
The laundry detail is divided into two separate but equal areas of responsibility. Person A rounds up the laundry from all over the house, brings it down to the basement, separates it and washes it. Person B receives the fresh laundry and folds it and puts it all away. Sounds simply? Well, here's the twist that caused a commotion in the McLaughlin household last night.
Simply put, Person B prefers that the laundry is warm upon folding. This allows for minimum wrinkling and avoids the dreaded "I" word. This requirement has completely baffled Person A who believes that once the cloths are in the drier his, er, Person A's job is complete. The result? There were seven (7) loads of laundry sitting in the basement last night and Person B was without any fresh clothing. SEVEN LOADS!!!!! And when Person B reasonably requested that the loads were reheated before folding could commence, Person A went totally ballistic and called Person B neurotic and deemed her a "laundry natzi".
Now I ask you, it is too much to ask for warm laundry? Please let me know who you think is neurotic - Person A or Person B. Any suggesting to the laundry system would be much appreciated.
(Oh yeah, Person A sucks at separating and has turned all of Person B's socks and undies pink along with shirking every nice blouse Person B owns so I think Person B is entitle to a little grumbling, don't you?)
Found a site called Unemployed Theo which is pretty hilarious. Looks like a tough life but I think I could pull it off it I had too.
Well the guest book is up and running. It's implementation was 90% Chrissie and 10% Kevin. (Hold the applause please). Actually, all I did was check out our ISP site and sure enough, all you had to do was toggle the option for a guestbook and they did the rest. This made Kevin rather grumpy as he was been trying to write a guestbook from scratch for about, oh, four months or so. He says my guest book is lame and no one will want to sign it. We'll see.
I've decided to implement a reward system - anyone who signs my guest book will get..... Hmmm, I'll have to think of something good.
It's too early for me to be witty seeing as I woke up before noon today. I need a full 12 hours of sleep to be at peak journal capacity. Sorry I have no link today, fresh out, but come back tomorrow and I'll have restocked. I promise.
I decided to change this to my own Journal. Kevin has agreed to an occasional post or witty comment but the pressure of constant creativity was just too much for him. He's decided to focus his creative talents to the html portion of this site so even though he may not appear too often, his presence is here in spirit.
I was a busy girl last night. Got back the wedding pictures and put some of them here. There are plenty more but I got bored and moved on to documenting our beautiful new grass. It's a little browner right now but hanging in there.
Oh yeah, this is my new favorite blog. I swear this cat is Blitz's long lost sibling. They even look alike. Just realized we have no pictures of our kitties here. (My mom says they aren't kitties - as if there is some weight/age limit for kitties! You can be a 20 lb kittie!) Major oversite on my part. I'll have to get up a page for them too I guess. I mean, who doesn't love looking at pictures of pets? Exactly.
Artie went to the vet today. Send Kevin a power thought. I think he'll need it.
My old friend, Mike, was asking me what I do for fun and my list was depressingly short. Work, walk the dog, watch tv. I sounded boring even to myself. So I'm looking for new and exiciting things to do this summer. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I need to come up with something cool to impress Mike.
Oh yeah, I'm going to have to invoke a general disclaimer here. If you surf over to his page, please keep in mind that by providing the aforementioned link, I in no way endorse, support, or approve of the information contained on his website. And the stuff about the buxom transvestite, completely baseless, honestly!
I scared Kevin yesterday. I should start by explaining about the carpet in our bedroom. It's red. Not true red, more of a brick or maroonish color. It came with the house and is actually very new so we haven't tried to replace it. Also, we're rather lazy but I digress.
Now, I'm a big fan of dark blue so in our apartment (which had tan carpet) I went with a dark blue theme. The effect in our house is sort of, well, a clash. Dark red rug meets dark blue bed. Ick. Kevin, of course, didn't mind. But then, color coordination is very, very low on his priority list. Right after changing the cat litter I think.
In a way, it's Kevin's own fault as he has begun complaining that our down comforter is just too hot for him. So this weekend, in a fit of energy, I decided to re-do the bedroom. Nothing major mind you, just a lighter blanket and new pillows. The basics. Now remember, we have that red carpet so logically, I had to pick something to match. What matches with dark red? That's right, pink & white. However, Kevin has this thing about "girly" stuff so I went for a quilt rather then flowery. Nice geometric shapes, more white than pink really. Came home, made the bed up with the new colors and proceed to forget about it. That night, Kevin walks upstairs and I hear a "Whoa! Hey! What???" Turns out seeing the new bedding scared him. (That and the fact that the bed was actually made for a change.) Of course, he spend all night grumbling that it was too fru-fru and he felt like he was at his grandma's house. Men. This is the same person who will wear stripes and plaids together and claim they match since they are both shades of blue. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
I don't think he's quite adjusted to it yet. He still gives the bed the evil eye every now and then. I think I'm gong to start putting my old dollys on it. That'll teach him. {Insert evil laugh here}.
Sorry for the lag in postings but I've been having problems with the web page. For some reason, only IE will link to our blog from our homepage. Netscape, for some reason, can't seem to find this page. Sigh. Kev's on shift and pretty grumpy right now so I don't think I'll be able to get him to fix it until later this week.
Thought I should probably put up a general disclaimer here. The ultrasound on our homepage IS NOT our child. That's my sister, Suzy's, new baby. I realize that at first glance, it's a little deceiving. My friend Kathy emailed me and said at first she got all excited thinking we were going to be proud parents. Sorry Kathy, no kids in our future yet (if you don't count Artie of course).
Had a run in with the police yesterday - it was kind of cool. I'm on the bus, heading home like normal, and the bus driver notices this guy running toward the bus. So, being the nice bus driver that she is, she waits a little longer at the stop for him Some bus drivers are not this kind and I have had many a bus pull out instead of waiting. But that is another story. Once he's on, she starts to joke with him about how he almost missed he. He takes a seat one in front of me and we head on down Sandy. We haven't gone far when we start to hear sirens and the traffic piles up. I'm thinking, accident up ahead. We inch along and final clear the snag leaving the sirens behind. Now, we haven't gone more than a mile when all of a sudden, we start hearing sirens coming up behind us. The bus driver jokes it must be her bad driving. We all start to laugh until the cops surround the bus and pull us over. Two officers hop out of their police car and pound on the bus doors to be let in. They have their hands on their guns and jump on the bus, say a few words to our driver who points them to the back of the bus. One officer looks back toward us and says "Alright, put your hands up where I can see them." I'm thinking, "Me???" The guy who ran to catch the bus shoots his hands into the air and the police man runs back and grabs him. They hussle him off the bus and handcuff him. Once he's in the police car, they come back on and search his seat where he had dropped a jacket and baseball cap. Turns out he had just robbed a store and was trying to make a fast get away. All in all, it was pretty cool. Although, I did have a flashback to Speed for a moment there. I wonder what would of happened it I had put my hands up too???
I think I'm going to send a picture of Blitz to this site. I think the big mean fatty would fit right in, don't you?
Needed a quick smile? Want a good belly laugh? Well then, check out this site which is one of my favorites. He must have met Kevin at some point because he has the seduction moves down pat. If you ever want a funny story, ask Kevin about the time he auditioned for a play in college. What I would give for a copy of that audition!
Still tired but slowly recovering. Found myself happily crunching away on my baby carrots which is a good sign of recovery. Tonight we go dancing which should pick us up as well. After today, it's a downhill coast to the weekend. Yippee!
I first found out you can have your own action figure made in your own image, now they have action cards staring regular people. You could almost start a whole toy line around yourself. I'm tempted to order an action figure only I don't know what I'd like to be. Probably some sort of superhero with a cool cape. Yeah, a silver cape.
As you probably guessed, today is kinda slow....
I am almost too tired to Blog. I had totally forgotten how exhausting a wedding can be. Only this time, I don't get a week in Hawaii to recharge. Grrrrr. All went well and the newlyweds have ridden off into the Tahitian sunset. All that's left is to return the tuxedoes, the dresses, the slip, clean the reception site, drop of the presents, water the plants, and feed the dog. We haven't gotten to bed before 2am the last four days and it's taking a toll. We're turning into old fogies.
The sad part is, I was so busy running errands that I didn't get any wedding cake and missed all the dancing except for the first dance. Never even got to see the bubble machine.
I have no cool links for you today. Even my baby carrots have failed to perk me up. I'm thinking about investing in some concealer since everyone I have seen today has commented on the bags around my eyes.
Actually, I think the best part was after the wedding was over and I could hang out with old friends I hadn't seen in far too long. All in all, two thumbs up!
My best friend is getting married tomorrow. I'm so excited. It's a fairy tale really. She met her fiance at our wedding. She was my bridesmaid and he was Kev's groomsman. It was so romantic. I must say it is awfully nice when best friends fall in love. They are ablsolutely perfect for eachother. Last night was the bachelor/bachelorette party. My poor little house was packed to the brim with laughing women. Kat's family is an absolute blast. I was surprised the neightbors didn't call the cops we were so loud. Don't know exactly what the men did except Kevin staggered home around 1:30am bleary eyed, smelling of smoke, with a ton of chinese food. He muttered "don't touch me, I'm disgusting" and trotted off to take a shower. I'm thinking they were up to no good. That's ok 'cause us girls had a blast. Can't wait for the wedding itself. The DJ comes with a bubble machine. Ohhhhh, ahhhh oooooooh.
Wow, my first wedding where I can't try and catch the bouquet. Doesn't that mean I get 2 pieces of cake to make up for that? Yep, I think that's definately the rule.
So we spent our 4th of July in the basement with the dog. He was completely freaked out from all the fireworks so we settled into the basement and popped Smashmouth into the cd player to help drown out the noise. It was a long, long night. Of course, it was super hot yesterday & he drank a ton of water but refused to go outside. So Kevin, wonderful guy that he is, set the alarm for 2am to take him out for a potty break. Only problem was, at 2am, Artie took one look at pappa and said no way, I ain't moving. After 15 minutes of coaxing, Kevin gave up and crawled back into bed. Ungrateful dog. When we woke up, however, Artie was sitting by the side of the bed staring at us. He was trying to use his Jedi dog powers on us. "You want to get up.....you need to take me for a walk......you want to get up." It worked. We are such suckers.
My mom and I used to love watching Star Trek: The Next Generation when I was in high school. We thought Jean Luc was hot. (Don't try and deny it mom!) I stumbled across this link where new plots can be randomly generated. The scary part it, they sound pretty good!
My latest addiction is baby carrots. I'm sitting here at my desk, crunching away. Yum. The only problem is they turn my fingertips orange. Maybe I'll try celery next. Who knows? Am I wild & crazy or what??
This was sent to me by my old friend Alicia - she gets the funniest stories and is kind enough to send them out. I felt it was necessary to preserve this priceless information for future generations of men. Also, next time Kevin needs help, he can always boot up the computer and recheck this handy guide.
FINE
This word is used at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have on of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half and hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an arguement that will last "Five Minutes" and end wih the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset at "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you again in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement commonly misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing".
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay contant.
OH
This word as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Example, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go Ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
THAT'S OK
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's OK" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you haver done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's OK".
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ake what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".