In a futile effort to avoid the laundry, I worked on Little D’s webpage last night. It’s just the skeleton right now but consider it a work in progress.
Also, the winner of The Quiz will be announced tomorrow so cast your votes now. So far, no one has scored 100% so the prize is still up in the air…..
Every since little Daniel slipped into the Terry/Walls family, I have found myself wanting something new myself. Kevin has been around for the last ten years and Artie and the girls are all pushing middle age in pet years. It’s hard knowing there’s this new little thing way down south and everyone but me is pinching and hugging his soft little cheeks. I have to make do with some pictures and email updates. Kissing a furry dog head or stubbily husband cheek is not the same but it’s all I got.
I’d get a baby myself if I could sell it on ebay or dump it off at Goodwill once the novelty wore off as I do with most of the results of my strange binges. Fortunately, there are laws against selling/abandoning small children so that pretty much rules out the kid option for me. Kevin has put his foot down on another dog/cat so my options seem to be limited here.
And so, last night, I had a good long talk with myself and I can to the conclusion that I’m ready for another fish.
Oh, didn’t I tell you about my last fish owning experience? It ended in tears and flushing and I cleaned out the tank and trundled the fake plants, colored rock, and heater into the basement to wait until my heart mended.
You see, I had an awesome fish. His name was Bosley and he was a blue beta. When I first bought him, he lived in a very small glass bowl with colored rocks and a single fake plant – no filter, no heater, no bubbly water. He was the Rambo of fish. I would clean his tank only when I could no longer see through the glass. The kitties decided that his bowl was their water dish (I think they liked the fishy taste) so every day they would jump up on the shelf and start drinking away. Good old Bosley would swim under his little plastic plant and stay very very still until the cat left. He was smart that Bosley. He lived for years in his moldly little bowl. Sometimes he’d get feed every day, sometime I’d forget or go out of town for a week but he’d be there, fighting mad when I got back.
After he’d proven his worth, I upgraded to a bigger tank with more rocks and plants and even a few other fish for him to boss about. It was great. Everything was going gang busters until one day I came downstairs and found all three little fishes floating belly up. (Actually, I only found two of the fish and baby Wicks sitting next to the tank, smacking her lips, with her paw in the water trying to fish out the other two floaters.) Bosley wasn’t looking too good either but he hung on for another day fighting valiantly but alas, it was in vain. I watched with my heart in my throat as he’d slowly turn sideways and float to the top of the tank and then rally and swim back to the bottom only to capsize and float to the top. He did this for a whole day and night before his little scaly body finally gave out.
One fish version of the black plague had inflicted my house and in the span of two days, they were all dead. (I secretly blame Josh for this but he adamantly denies all responsibility. I haven’t been able yet to prove his guilt but I’m still watching and waiting for him to slip up and admit his hand in the death of Bosley.)
But it has been a year since the 5 flush salute and I think it might be time for a new beta. I’m thinking of calling him Charlie. I wonder if he’d let me kiss him?
op Quiz Baby!
So, how well have you been paying attention? It’s very simply really. The person who answers the most questions correctly will get a prize. Yup. That’s right. A FREE gift personally mailed by me to you. It’s very simple. Read. Answer. Email. Fun for everyone!!!
Question 1:
Kevin was scared when he walked into the bedroom because I had……changed the bedding from blue to pink.
Question 2:
The book I am trying to locate is called….. The Resistance by Katherine Rusch (anyone seen it for under $50?)
Question 3:
If I were to get a tatoo, the design would be a….the zodiac symbol for Taurus.
Question 4:
I once spent a whole weekend watching reruns of …..The Facts of Life – Tootie rocks.
Question 5:
I learned the hard way that you should not feed your dog what kind of candy? Twizzlers. Remember this one. It might save you a lot of carpet scrubbing later in life.
Question 6:
The name of the weapon used by Klingons in premiere of Star Trek Enterprise is……..disruptor NOT phasor. Duh.
Alright, think hard and email me your answers. Just to make sure there are no cheaters, I have disabled the Archives so don’t be thinking you could click your way to the answers. I’m on to your tricks. Answers and winner to be announced sometime next week…..
Last night on the radio was a silly little country song about remembering your first kiss. I asked Kevin about his and he told me the story of walking down a snow covered street with his date for the night, holding hands, and having his first kiss. It was very sweet. I told him about sneaking off the playground with Kyle Castle and kissing in a door way in front if his friend Carl on a dare. Of course, the major difference here is that Kevin was in 11th grade and I was in 4th grade. So I’ve go about seven years more kissing experience on my resume but he’s a surprisingly fast learner so I have no complaints.
After laughing over this, we both sat quietly in the car for a moment and then Kevin turned to me and said, “I don’t remember our first kiss. Do you?”
I didn’t either.
Strange, huh? I suppose, at the time, Kevin was just some guy I had gone on a few dates with. I didn’t know that we would last through college and long after into marriage so when that first kiss did happen, I didn’t bother to savor the moment. I wish I had.
We were able to piece together some foggy recollections of an early kiss and have decided to name that the first kiss. Seems kind of strange that my most memorable kisses where with people other than my husband. In retrospect, Kevin has decided that if he could go back in time, he’d start kissing sooner. Upon further questioning, he has assured me that women were throwing themselves at him all during high school but he was too shy to put the moves on them. All I can say is if Kevin gets to go back in time to use is moves, I get to follow so I can watch. Having been the object o’ Kevin moves, I can assure you, watching Kevin playing Rico Suave in highschool would be hilarious.
Which actually leads me into a bit of a side rant. What’s wrong with cute??? I mean, every time I tell a man he’s cute, he gets all upset. “No, no,” he cried in protest “I don’t want to be cute. I want to be dangerous and mysterious and sexy. Anything but cute!” Kevin constantly become upset when he tries for sexy and I respond by squealing “oh Kevin, you are just soooo cute!” But he still insists that he is trying to jump from cute to sexy even though I much prefer cute. Silly Kevin.
Have you ever wondered how a computer knows exactly when you have the most unsaved information on the screen? How it senses that if it were to crash, right now, it would totally destroy all those documents you had just spent all afternoon creating?
Is it born with this ability or is it programed in at an early age?
There is nothing worse than having to recreate. And it’s only Tuesday. Sigh.
I have spoken with all concerned parties and the general opinion so far is that baby D is The Cutest Baby Ever. I cannot find anyone who has seen him to disagree with this title. Of course, so far everyone who has come into his presence has been a grandparent or parent so this may have tainted the results. Nonetheless, I feel quite confident in bestowing upon my nephew the title of The Cutest Baby Ever.
For those of you, like myself, who have not yet been saddled with children (or have not yet experienced the joy of parenthood depending on your outlook on kids), let me give you a very big piece of advice. In fact, go ahead a get a pencil and paper and jot this one down because it will save you a lot of heartache later on.
I’ll wait.
Ready? Ok, here it is. When it comes to babies, it is ok to lie. I know, I know, the Bible and Moses and a whole host of men in robes will try and convince you otherwise but trust me on this one. When it comes to babies, lying is a-ok. I have learned this lesson the hard way.
My fellow co-worker, Laura, had a little girl about a year ago. She would bring her into the office every now and then and every time she would stroll into my office, hoist the child in the air in my general direction, and ask me point blank – “Is this the cutest baby you have every seen???”
Normally, I could avoid a confrontation by answering, “she’s pretty darn cute!” At which point Laura would wander off to elicit a response from some other person. However, Laura is also and attorney so it wasn’t long before she began to notice my tactful evasion.
The conversation started out like any other. “Good morning Chrissie. Look at the baby, isn’t she the cutest little girl in the whole world?” Laura asked me with a smile. She thrust the child in front of her and I looked the baby over nodding and smiling.
“She’s pretty darn cute!” I replied and began shuffling paperwork in an attempt to look too busy to talk. Laura re-settled her child on her hip and paused, squinting her eyes at me.
“Yes, but she’s the cutest baby in the world, right?” she said again, this time with a bit more iron in her voice.
“Yes, yes, very cute.” I mumbled, panic rising in my chest. Laura stepped fully into my office, sensing my pathetic attempt at evading her question.
“But you do think she’s the cutest baby in the whole world, don’t you.” I was trapped. Unable to think of another way to divert her attention, I attempted one last maneuver.
“Well, I haven’t seen every baby out there so maybe I’m not the best person to judge who’s the cutest in the world.” I threw in my most charming smile, hoping she’d wander off in search of another opinion. I was out of luck.
“Ok, fine,” she replied, all warmth gone from her voice, “but you have to admit she’s the cutest baby you’ve every seen, right? Right???” As if to help my answer, I found the child held right at eye level so I could examine and pronounce my verdict.
Here’s were I caved. It was the pressure of the constant questions or the kid drooling on my desk. I don’t know what possessed me but next thing I knew, I said, “Well, if you must know, I have seen cuter.”
There was a sharp intake of breath and the child was quickly withdrawn from my view as if I had just tried to bit her. For a moment, everything held still as Laura processed the thought that I didn’t agree that her child was the cutest. In that silence that seemed to stretch forever, I found myself babbling in an cowardly attempt to back pedal.
“Not the cutest but definitely in the top 10. I mean, she’s no Shirley Temple and I have this cousin whose got these dimples that are cute and your baby doesn’t have dimples so of course she can’t be as cute as my cousin but she’s really really cute for your family not that your other babies weren’t cute but this one is definitely the cutest so far…….”
At this point, Laura turned on her heel and took her child out of my office. In fact, I believe she didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. Instead, she emailed/called all of our friends who have children and recited the horrendous statement I had made. All day long, I got emails from people telling me what a meanie I was for calling Laura’s kid ugly. They all vowed when I have a child and ask them, they will reply that the kid is the ugliest they have ever seen just to get me back.
The child in question is over a year old and Laura still reminds me of my fatal blunder. So trust me on this one. If a mother thrusts a small child in front of your face and demands that agree that this child the is cutest you have ever seen, don’t look at the kid, don’t even hesitate, just answer YES. You won’t regret it.