I am a real believer in true love Princess Bride style. Don’t know if I believe you only have one soul mate thought. I mean, what are the odds that you’d ever meet them? But I do believe that there is something magical that happens between the right two people.

I’ve been thinking about this because of an old friend of mine. Now, please bear in mind that many people tell me I have swiss cheese memory and am slightly delusional in that I often clearly remember things that never happened and completely block out other episodes totally. (I pay no mind to these people who accuse me of this but they make up a frighteningly large majority of my acquaintances.) So, this is just my own demented memory of high school. If I malign or besmirch (what a great word – makes me think of mashing green goop onto white silk) anyone, I humbly apologize.

So I had this good friend in high school. Smart, funny, caring, rich (hey now, lets me honest, that’s a bonus) just an all-around great friend but he didn’t believe in marriage. More particularly, he didn’t believe in true love Princess Bride style. He was very cynical about the whole find-someone-you-love-so-much-you-get-married-and-stay-in-love-forever fairytale. I think he believed in love, in general, but was doubtful that you could love someone so much it lasted forever. So he had a few girlfriends, went on some dates, but remained pretty much skeptical about true love Princess Bride style.

Then he went to college and something magical happened. You see, there, he met HER. Yup, you guessed it. He met someone so wonderfully special that all his doubts and fears and beliefs about love were stripped away. For when true love finds you, there is no room for doubt.

I went to a different college so I didn’t get to see the courtship or the slow realization that she was The One. But I did get to know her and see them together and there is no doubt in my mind that they are It. They are the poo. Take a sniff. (Can you tell I was watching Bring It On last weekend?)

So now, he glows. I swear I am not making this up. He watches her and he glows and he smiles and every sharp angle is soothed by her. I don’t know if she realizes it – how much she has changed him. I mean, she didn’t know him before her. (That could only happen in a bad Star Trek episode with a tear in the space-time continum which, lets face it, rarely ever really happens.)

But I know.

Got a picture from them today and he’s still glowing. Ain’t love grand?

Yesterday was crazy weather day here. It started out sunny. Then these clouds moved in and we had a thunderstorm with big booms and flashes of lightening. Watching out our office window, we saw lightening strike down by the river front. Turns out it hit a playground and left a four inch deep hole in the asphalt. (Don’t worry, all the kiddies were inside at their desks.) The thunderstorm only lasted ten minutes or so and then the clouds blew through and it started to clear. Right when I thought everything was normal, down comes this torrential rain that turns into hail. Absolutely crazy I tell you.

And it’s not just the weather that’s gone nuts. There have been two shootings downtown. Now, you have to realize that Portland’s downtown blocks are a mere ten by ten grid. On Monday, at 11:30am, a man and a woman were walking by the Pioneer Square, pretty much dead center of downtown, and a man approached them asking them for drugs. The couple refused, and the man pulled a gun and shot the man point blank five or six times in front of dozens of witnesses. He then hoped into a car and took off. The man died later that day. Then, yesterday, three men walked into the Wells Fargo over on 4th at 2pm, shot a few rounds into the air, and demanded money. One or two fled into a nearby apartment building where they took hostages and were surrounded by police. I guess it all ended peacefully. In a big city, this may seem like nothing but this is not a big city. Crazy I tell you.

How do I know all this, you ask me? It’s not because I read the newspaper, listen to the news or radio stations. Oh no, I have discovered a new (and very addictive) pastime. Police scanners. Yes, that’s right. Thanks to the joy of the Internet, you can now listen to the Portland Police scanners over streaming video. They even provide a handy-dandy reference sheet of codes and lingo so you can understand what’s being said. It is so very very neat.

Have decided to quit my job and become a police dispatcher as soon as I figure out where to apply.

So there is this new guy on our floor. I’m not to sure who he is or even who he works for as we haven’t been introduced. All I know is that he’s really tall and whenever he walks by my door, he looks into my office. This really bothers me. I hate it when people peer in at me. If you are coming to talk to me, fine, come in. But don’t be walking by and looking. I am not in a zoo or a manakin in a store window. At least have te decency to introduce yourself if you’re going to keep looking in on me. I have asked around and he is doing this to everyone – this walking and peering. How very rude.

I have decided I don’t like him at all. I know, you may think this is rash seeing as how I have never said one word to him but still. I’ve just decided it.

I’m tempted to figure out where his desk is and walk by staring at him just to see if he likes it but I’ve decided to take the silent & hostile approach. I’m good at the cold shoulder thing. Just ask Kevin, having been on the receiving side of many of my finest cold shoulders, he’ll vouch for my ability to freeze with the best of them.

And on top of that, I’m having a bad eyebrow day. I know, it’s strange but true. My dad has these crazy eyebrows. He’ll have individual eyebrow hairs that go malignant and just grow and grow and get all crazy. They freak my mom out and she is constantly trimming them to he doesn’t end up looking like some crazy scientist. I appear to have inherited some of these crazy eyebrow genes because the eyebrow over my left eye to truly unruly. It is just out of control with every hair pointing every which way and refusing to lie flat. I have tried hairspray, gel, and even clear mascara to no avail. Some days, my eyebrow just gets cranky and crazy and today is one of those days.

And unlike a bad hair day, I can’t cover up my eyebrow. No, instead I have to face the day knowing that I have a spaztic eyebrow. So don’t look at me. Or, don’t look at me in the face. It’s just all wrong. Maybe I should be one of those freaky people who pull out all their eyebrows and then draw them on. That would solve my errant eyebrow dilemma once and for all. Except then I’d spend all day afraid to wipe my eyes for fear of smearing off my eyebrow. How weird would that be? There are no easy answers to these questions I suppose….

I have discovered the secret to happiness and I will share it with you for free.

So you’ve had a long day at work. You’re grumpy, tired, and hungry when you get home and the idea of cooking dinner and paying bills and washing dishes and sorting laundry makes you want to just keep driving past your house to the nearest bakery where you can sit with a loaf of fresh bread and butter and your reading book until the world goes away. (Well, that’s what runs through my mind anyway. Feel free to insert your own escape dream above.)

But you know dinner has to be cooked and the bills have to get paid and the dishes washed and the laundry folded so instead of driving by, you pull into your drive way and battle with the door, drop your stuff on the ground and think, “this sucks – I need a personal servant.” (At least, that’s what runs through my mind. Feel free to insert your own comment above.)

At this point, there are several things you can do to make yourself happier. You can draw a bath and close the door, plop on the couch and watch the tube, break into the candy supply and pump your body full of sugar, etc, etc, etc. All of these are good ideas, but I have found a better one. It’s fast, easy, and doesn’t involve any weight gain One word – PJs.

Yup, you read that right. No typo. PJs. I have discover that after you battle with the door and dump your stuff, and bemoan your lack of a personal servant, all you have to do is run to your bedroom and shed your work day cloths and slide into your most comfortable, cozy PJs and suddenly, everything looks so much better. I suppose, to an outsider, it might seem strange that you are wearing your nightie at 6:30pm but who cares! There is something wonderful about your old cotton sleep shirt that’s almost worn through and has a hole where the dog played tug of war with it. Add a pair of old loose gym socks and in under 5 minutes you have instant mood change without the use of sugar.

So when Kevin comes home at night, he finds me happily cooking dinner in the kitchen, looking like I’m ready for bed. There’s just something about your PJs. I think it’s because I spend all day bound and uncomfortable. High heels, panty hose with control tops and reinforced toes, slips and bras, hair bound back, and just uncomfortable. To be able to go home and throw it all off is so liberatingly wonderful.

And PJs say “I’m done for the day. All I have left to do is sleep.” It means I don’t have to leave my house or interact with other people. It’s the unconscious comfort of knowing that if I really wanted to, I could head to bed right now without delay. How cool is that??

So tonight, as you walk through your door and face your nightly chores, before you do anything else, go change into your PJs and then start dinner. You’ll be amazed how good it makes you feel.

(Of course, I only recommend this if you sleep wearing clothes. Cooking naked may not be the best idea unless you are really good about not splattering anything. Also, the idea of someone sitting on my chairs with their bare butt gives me the willies. )