We had a very lovely birthday dinner for Leina on Sunday night.  It was all the family and Kat & Josh (’cause, you know, they’re pretty much family too after this long!)  Leina had a blast running around the backyard with the cousins and Kevin (’cause, you know, Kevin is really just a kid at heart too.)  This was the first year she wasn’t totally overwhelmed by her party.  In the past, we’ve tried having it in the afternoon which runs into her nap time so by the time the cake and present roll around she is done, dead done.  This year, we tried an evening party.  Instead of afternoon crankiness, we had happiness!  How wonderful is that?

As for presents, Leina made out!  She got some soft and lovable animals, my little pony figures, books, outfits, pop beads and games.  But my own personal favorite gift?  The easy bake oven.  Yup.  That’s right.  Not only the oven but the cake decorating kit, sprinkles, and cake mixes.  I can hardly contain myself!  Baking by light bulb?  That’s my idea of a good time.  I never had an easy bake as a kid but I secretly wanted one.  Now it’s my chance to bake all those tiny cakes and cookies.  Leina is a bit unsure about the whole thing but she’s willing to try anything that involves sprinkles and frosting.  She is 5 after all.  So tomorrow we’ll fire up the easy bake and get a-mixing.  Yes!  Watch out Betty Crocker, here we come!

As I type this, my two little teeth lie beside me. I would put a picture up of them but Liza has threathened me with death if I even think of it so instead I will let them gaze upon the screen with me. It has only been two days but already I’m sick of yogurt and cottage cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I am healing nicely and should be back to chomping carrots and nuts in no time. And just for the record, your back molar have really, really long roots. Wanna see?

Happy Mother’s Day!  As I write this, Kevin is curled up in bed with the girls watching TV.  Today, I’m off duty.  No kitchen cleaning, no kid watching, no diaper changing, no meal making.  Just a day to wander about and breath deep.  Ah Mother’s Day, how I love you!

So, you’re wondering about the loot, right?  Well, for starters, Kevin’s trip to Japan got postponed to Monday.  That was a big gift.  It may get pushed back even farther if things don’t untangle at work.   Last weekend, he took the girls to a ceramics place and had them paint me some hideous adorable plates that will clutter up my house for years to come.  He presented them to me cackling with glee.  At school, Leina made the adorable bee and flower craft.  I only managed to snap a few pictures before the kids devoured it.

It’s the most ingenious thing.  Just cookies with a hibachi stick through them and topped with a gum drop.  So totally doable and adorable.  Her teacher is simply amazing.

Kulia didn’t get to make a gift for me so she just gave me extra snuggles which, really, is all a mother ever wants.  Just look at these soft chubba cheeks.  Couldn’t you just nibble them?

And what, you ask, am I going to be doing today on my big free day?  Well, wandering spritely around the house gets old after a while.  So, I ran down to Sears yesterday and picked a little something up for myself.  It’s my sister’s fault really.  She recently got a new one and taunted me mercilessly about how cool it was and how I needed one too.  Drat you Suzy.  (And thank you too!)

Well, a big thank you to everyone out there who called or emailed me yesterday.  Thanks for reminding me how very very old I am.  I am now very aware that I’m closer to 40 than 30 and I’m officially half way to 70.  Great.  Happy day!

But really, I had a very nice birthady all told.  Lots of eating and presents and cake.  Yum-o.  Almost makes getting this old worth it.  Now, if it would just stop snowing, I’d be truely happy.  I mean, enough already!  It does make for a very handy excuse as to why I haven’t started in on my garden.  But snow?  In late April?  Where am I living?

I have several funny stories to blog but, unfortunately, I have already told them to people in, like, real life so it seems wierd to blog about them.  So old news and all.  But if nothing exciting happens tomorrow, I will tell you the story of The Poop Lie or The Spider Under the Bed or The New Monitor.  See all the exciting stuff you’ve been missing out on?

But not today.  Today, I am going to spend the next hour glaring out my window at the gloomy grey sky that seems to have permanently attached itself over my house.  Glare.  Glare.  Glare.

I have decided that my house is situated on some strange time warp field. This field appears to be particularly active on weekday mornings between the hours of 7-8am. If you are not careful, you will find yourself sucked into this deadly distortion and brutally victimized by its effect.

This morning, both Kevin and I were victims of said field.

I know this because at 7:45am, we were both in separate rooms, looked at the nearest clock and yelled, “Ghaaaak! Look at the time, I’m late, I’m late! How did this happen????” Now that I am here at work, contemplatively sipping my coffee and eating my sesame seed bagel, it is obvious. We were clearly struck by a massive time warp field this morning. Really, we didn’t stand a chance.

It goes something like this.

The alarm goes off and you peer over your pillow (squinting if you don’t have perfect vision and are too spineless for LASIK). The little evil black box is flashing 7am and you think, “just 5 more minutes, then I’ll get up.” Unbeknownst to you, a massive time distortion field is forming around your bed and you won’t realize it until it’s too late.

“Traffic and weather every ten minutes on the 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, and 55 past the hour. It’s 7:25 and here is Steve Nelson with the traffic.” Some part of your bleary, barely functioning brain begins to listen to what I-5 North is looking like and then it hits you. 7:25!!! You bolt upright, grab your glasses and realize your five minutes have stretched into twenty. “Ghaaak! We’re late!” you yell, elbowing your spouse and kicking the dog in the face. “Sorry Artie, but momma overslept.” Both of your stumble out of bed and into the closet where, in your frantic state, your select a black skirt and navy blue hose. It isn’t until you get down stairs in the sunlight that you realize your mistake. Of course, by now it’s past 7:30 so you grab what you hope are a pair of black hose with no runs and stuff them in your purse. A quick trip to the bathroom and you emerge groomed and clean by 7:40. Now, you are ahead of the curve and this is where the time warp really sinks you. That early warp was just a warm up really.

You see your spouse stumble by wearing a yellow shirt, tan pants and black shoes but figure a) he’s a guy and b) he’s an engineer and decide to let him leave looking like a fashion disaster. After you get him out the door, you realize you have 5 minutes before you have to go and so you slow down.

It’s like a bad horror movie.

There you are breathing a sigh of relief as you casually gather your purse and lunch together while right above you is hovering a huge time distortion cloud. If you listen very carefully, you can hear the kids in the back of the theater yelling “Noooooo! Don’t slow down, run, run you stupid girl!” Silently, deadly, the time field drops over you as you open your shoe closet.

“Lets see, I could wear the navy and match the hose but I’m going to change them so I probably want black. Looks like rain so no open toed shoes. Those heels hurt last time but I am wearing a skirt so maybe something with a little height….” You dig around blissfully, trying on this pair and that when you hear, vaguely, from the bedroom……

“Traffic and weather every ten minutes at the 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, and 55 past the hour. It’s 7:55 and here’s….” You look up, frantic, and shake off the gossamer tendrils of that sneaky time cloud and a strangled “Ackleryp” emerges. You shove your feet into your tennis shoes ‘cause you’re going to have to run now. Throwing yourself into your car, you run every yellow light to the park and ride, and sprint over the bridge to the commuter platform where you just manage to squeeze through the last door on the 8:01am MAX train before it leaves the station. Exhausted but relieved, you slump into the nearest seat only to realize two things.

1. You forgot to grab a pair of shoes and will be stuck wearing your ratty old tennis shoes all day.
2. Your purse, replacement hose, lunch and all your money is sitting on the kitchen table and you will have to borrow a few bucks from your co-workers. Again.

I have yet to find a way to beat this time warp in my house but I have discovered how to mitigate the side effects once I am outside of its range. You see, I keep a pair of black hoes, black shoes, extra money, one whole work outfit. hair brush, tooth brush and toothpaste, and one frozen lunch here at work so when I arrive haggard and mismatched, I can collect myself quietly in the women’s bathroom and emerge (half and hour to an hour later depending on the severity of the morning time warp field) ready to face the day.

I’m thinking we may need the help of a professional exorcist at home. I mean, clearly, it’s not our fault. There’s just some strange supernatural force working against us. Thank goodness they do the traffic and weather every ten minutes on the 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, and 55 past the hour! ,

WWas an absolute domestic goddess yesterday. Kevin is going to have a tough time following my act. He’s on shift and worked all day Sunday. While he was gone, I cleaned the house, pulled weeds, baked banana nut bread, went grocery shopping, chopped kindling, built roaring fire, walked dog, and baked the world’s best lasagna.
Why all the effort?

Because, when he has his week off next week, I will be able to demand the same level of attentiveness. You didn’t think I was doing this for purely altruistic purposes, did you? Kevin came home last night to a warm fire, good dinner, and clean house. He was impressed but undaunted. Although he admits my little performance on Sunday raised the bar, he claims he can top it. We’ll see.