My homepage is gone. Eaten alive by the folks over at Excite@Home. Supposedly, our service is now hosted by AT&T but that is a laugh.

So this is where blogs go when they have no ftp ability. Sad, I know, but it’s all I can offer you right now. I’m sorry.

Well I have arrived safe and sound. Strangely enough, my airport experience was reversed. PDX was a police state. There were troupers watching us and eyeing baggage. People were randomly selected for searches that happened behind secret panels. They selected one lady with a small child, maybe two or so. The security lady had the mom set her son down and preceded to pat search him. He handled that ok but when she pulled out the black wand, he decided he’d had enough and took off running and screaming bloody murder. After a little chase, they rounded him up and the mom held this screaming little boy in place while the security lady scanned him for metal objects. Those PDX security guards are tough.

So it was with a little trepidation that I exited the plan at LAX. I guess after my Portland experience, I expected to be strip searched and x-rayed in LA. But on my arrival, it was, well deserted. My usual Hell-A airport experience runs something along the lines of people everywhere, crowds, loud speakers blaring announcements. This time, however, I was greeted with an eerie silence. No one is allowed to meet you at the gate or wait with you so the hordes of relatives and family that normally gather are suddenly gone. I wandered down to baggage claim with a few other stragglers where Elmo was waiting. Yes, believe it or not, my luggage was unloaded and waiting for me! Even stranger still, the short term parking was E-M-P-T-Y.

So with little ado, I find myself home again. I checked in with Kevin and he had ordered a pizza and was watching movies that I refused to rent. He claims he misses me but I don’t believe him. Actually, this will be the first time we’ve been apart since our marriage. We’ll see what sort of mischief he gets himself into.

And I’m off!

I’m heading home tomorrow to see old highschool friends and my family. I cannot wait to see my little sister. Errr, actually, from what I hear, she is no longer so little but rather very pregnant. Hee hee, for the first time every I will get to poke her fat little tummy. Ah, how I love the circle of life.

I’ve been a busy little bee trying desperately to finish up all of the Christmas presents to take with me. For whatever reason, this year was a DIY year. Last year we braved the crowds and found all sorts of neat pre-made stuff in stores but this year, for reasons I don’t quite understand, I’ve found myself making things instead. And, have reviewed many of my projects last night, they definitely look home made. No mistaking these items for store bought, no sirree, they are genuine 100% “Made by Chrissie Gifts”.

They actually remind me of Suzy ornaments. As we grew up, we were constantly making ornaments at Christmas time. Most of these were done in art class at school and then presented proudly to our parents Christmas morning. I must give my parents credit for two amazing things. First, they managed not to laugh. Second, they saved most of our unique creations.

Back when Suzy and I were still Terry girls, the tradition was to all get together, put on the Muppets Christmas album, and decorate the tree. Dad did the lights, mom unpacked and handed out ornaments and Suzy and I did the placement. Being the annoying sister that I was/am, I made it a point to get all of Suzy’s hand made ornaments and laugh, laugh, laugh. She had this one that I swear is a Christmas pig although Suz hotly contends it is a reindeer. Yeah, right, whatever Suz. Now that we are married and decorate our own trees in separate states, I find I miss Suzy’s mutated creations. Sure, my Frankenstein creations still grace my tree but there is no pig ornament or gold laminated macaroni thing to make my stuff look good by comparison.

Perhaps that is why, at Christmas time, I’m drawn toward creating craft monstrosities. Of course, somehow it’s incredibly cute when a six year old hands you a handcrafted present that looks like it was glued together in the dark. I’m not so sure that logic still holds when the present is lovingly mutilated by someone my age which is way, way past six.

However, I’m not one to care for the opinions of others and so I will wrap my strange creations and proudly spread them amongst my friends. I’m just glad I won’t be there to see their faces or hear the cries of “dear god, what is that!” come Christmas morning. But I suppose some things are better left to the imagination!

This entry will require quite a leap in deductive reasoning but bear with me.

I am a intermittent stamp collector. Actually, my dad used to collect stamps as a kid and started his own collection which I took over in my youth. Then I sort of forgot about it and it lay dormant in my closet along with my old formal dresses and tossed aside stuffed animals. When my parents came to visit, they bundled up everything from the recess of my closet and willingly dumped it all in my basement. Over time, I have been sorting through my knick knacks and stumbled across the old stamp collection.

As I have aged I have gained a bit of wisdom. I am a completely spastic person whose eyes are bigger than her head. I get hooked on stuff, work like crazy until I see something else that catches my fancy. I have learned, over time, that when I am seized by the latest craze, it is best to try and limit its scope since it is highly probably that by next month it will be forgotten. So when I unburied my stamp collection, my first thought was to try and collect everything I had missed between, oh, sixth grade and the present. My rational side kicked in and I decided to limit my collecting desire to a specific specialty of stamp collecting. I decided my focus would be stamps dealing with books and authors. With this narrow scope in mind, I plunged forth.

I found hundreds upon hundreds of web site dedicated to stamp collecting and got sucked into the idea of first covers for a while but never got around to doing them. (Need to put that on my list-o-things-begun-but-never-finished, page 107.) I did, however, purchase a few stamps dealing with authors and books. Now, here’s the leap, from stamps to Christmas……

Since turkey day is over and the big X is rapidly approaching, I have two pearls of wisdom for you.

1. Order your stamps online.

Yes, that’s right, simply head to USPS online and order all your pretty Christmas stamps. For a measly $1.00 shipping fee, you can avoid circling your local post office parking lot and standing in line behind people mailing 50 packages misaddressed to people in Malaysia. You can get just about any stamp you like from the comfort of your computer. If you don’t want the boring stamps you buy in line at the grocery store, this is the only way to go.

2. Try a Game

Ok, this has nothing to do with stamps but I just wanted to pass along this idea. I know, for most people a “game” is something by Milton-Bradley that involves lots of drawing, pantomime, or moving pieces around a board. This is very very sad. There are so many wonderful games out there that are unknown by the masses. Take, for example, the Bean Game. I don’t know how to describe it except to say everyone I have shown it to has been hooked. It is simply the best game I have found and I found it at great little website based here in Oregon called FunAgain Games. They specialize in German board games and have wonderful reviews and ideas. The Bean Game (as I call it) is actually titled Bohnanza and is German. This wonderful store will send you the game and an english translation of the rules which is key. You can’t go wrong with any of the Games of the Year and almost everything has a picture and/or rating. So if you are desperate for something different, give them a try. The Bean Game works best with 4 people. If you have a larger group, Rage is another addictive card game to try too. Also The Great Dalmuti which I have played under the name Rich Man Poor Man is good fun with large groups.

Alright, that’s all of my great ideas for the day. Come back tomorrow, I’m sure by then I’ll be fixated on something else. Lucky you!

Another Unemployed Theo episode. But could this be the end of our hero???

I am absolutely useless today. I seem to be suffer from pre-holiday exhaustion. This is a very vicious strain of holiday illness that some surmise is a mutation of post-holiday laziness. As this is a very dangerous affliction, I will detail the symptoms of the disease below…

1. Time stretching – this phenomenon is a common occurrence and involves the drastic slowing of time. A typical example is sitting at your computer for an excruciating period of time, checking the clock and realized a mere 3 minutes have passed. This is one of the more burdensome symptoms of pre-holiday exhaustion. This phenomenon appears to worsen in the late afternoon with the hardest period occurring between the hours of 3-5:30pm on your last full work day.

2. Procrastination – Dwelling over all the last minute details left undone and berating yourself for spending all day channel surfing instead of marking off items on your to-do list. Even though you know you have to go to the store or start cooking, you find yourself unable to rise off of the sofa and turn off the Facts of Life marathon.

3. Lack of Focus – You find yourself daydreaming out your office window or rearranging your post-it notes instead of finishing up your last report/letter. Combined with Symptom #2, a strange limbo is invoked whereby you find yourself able to only complete irrelevant tasks like ironing the napkins and unable to direct your activities to critical areas like cleaning the guest bathroom.

4. Wild Planning – In some severe cases, people infected by pre-holiday exhaustion find themselves caught up in the “perfect” holiday. After copious note taking and consulting every Martha Stewart and entertaining book in your home, you find yourself burnt out having spent two weeks and hundreds of dollars weaving your own tablecloth, dipping handmade candles and arranging hundreds of stunning table bouquets. Unable to maintain this maniacal pace without the help of twelve personal assistants, your immune systems is completely vulnerable and typically the onset of Symptoms #1-3 will occur within hours.

There is no cure for pre-holiday exhaustion that I have managed to discover. In some, shoe shopping has been know to help dull the pain but once out of the store, the symptoms return. In the interest of humanity, I will continue my quest to cure pre-holiday exhaustion. This year, I will test the theory that bubble baths may retard the onset of symptoms.

I will keep you informed of my findings.