Before kids, my goals were so simple. Meet my billable hours. Throw out food when it started to mold. Remember to lock the door when I left.<\/p>\n
Simple. Easy. Non-life threatening.<\/p>\n
Now, my goals seem so much harder. Keep two year old from running into traffic. Fend off diaper rash. Grow three year old’s mind. Remember not to swear around little ears that hear everything.<\/p>\n
But there is one goal I have developed that I take very seriously. About once a week my goal is to corner Leina and tickle her until she pees. Yes, that’s right, my goal is to make my kid laugh so hard she pees her pants. (Am I a great mom or what?) And not to brag or anything, but I am good at the tickling. The secret is in the anticipation. You tickle, and then stop. Then you move in very very slowly. Let them sweat out the incoming tickle. Usually I have Leina so excited she’s laughing before I even touch her. Then I pounce and tickle, taking care to frequently change my area of attack. If you tickle one place for a while, it will de-sensatize. If you roam and tickle, it’s much more effective. So I tickle her belly, her neck, behind her knees, her inner elbow, the base of her back and her sides. I tickle and tickle until Leina yells, “Mom! You made me pee my pants!”<\/p>\n
Yes! Goal attained! And let me tell you, there’s no joy like the sense of accomplishment that comes with tickling you child to the point to bladder loss. Don’t believe me? Grab a kid and give it a try. Pretty soon, you’ll be adding it to your weekly goals as well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Before kids, my goals were so simple. Meet my billable hours. Throw out food when it started to mold. Remember to lock the door when I left. Simple. Easy. Non-life threatening. Now, my goals seem so much harder. Keep two year old from running into traffic. Fend off diaper rash. Grow three year old’s mind. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s2Kqhb-goals","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=839"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/839\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}