{"id":630,"date":"2003-01-14T20:51:16","date_gmt":"2003-01-15T00:51:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/wordpress\/?p=630"},"modified":"2003-01-14T20:51:16","modified_gmt":"2003-01-15T00:51:16","slug":"that-ugly-lamp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/?p=630","title":{"rendered":"That Ugly Lamp"},"content":{"rendered":"

From Chrissie in San Diego:
\nThey say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I don’t think that’s always true. I think that sometimes, absence makes your head clear so you can see things as they really are. “What do you mean Chrissie?” I hear you asking. Well, lets take, for example, a lamp.<\/a><\/p>\n

This lamp is, quite simply, ugly. It looks like a left-over set piece from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. We’re talking ugly 70’s style here. This thing went out with bushy sideburns, tight jeans, and disco. And yet, here it sits in my parents’ family room. I suppose it has been part of our family for over 30 years. To the best of my knowledge, it has sat on our side table since the dawn of time and today was the first day I noticed it. Yes, for the last 30 years it has lived unmolested. But for whatever reason, when I walked into our family room, my eye was drawn to this hideous yellow eyesore. The only reason I can devise for my sudden notice of this thing is that I haven’t been home in a while and I must have blocked it from my mind. (Not a surprise considering what it looks like, really.) But the truly horrifying thing is that once my eyes were opened, I took a new look around the room. There was a second lamp much like the first – yellow shade and tin-y brass base. The wallpaper was a strange mustard orange color I associate with shag carpeting and the shades had an odd gray poupon tinge to them. When I informed my mother that this was simply unacceptable, she looked at me blankly and said, “But Chrissie, we’re using energy saver bulbs.”<\/p>\n

I immediately decided that drastic measures were in order and informed my mother that we were going to go out and purchase some 21st Century lighting – maybe some nice torchier lights and a halogen or two. My mother, having lived with me for 18 long years, simply smiled and nodded. When I went on to tell her that the lamps should be shipped immediately to the nearest Salvation Army, she managed a feeble protest by stating that they were Ethan Allen lamps and, therefore, had some intrinsic value. My reply was simple. There are also people out there who still justify wearing tan leisure suits because they were made by Coco Chanel. Bleck.<\/p>\n

I’m a little frightened to look into any other rooms for fear of seeing things with new eyes. Even scarier, what if I go back to Portland, take one look at Kevin and say… “what a minute, that looked much better when I left!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Chrissie in San Diego: They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I don’t think that’s always true. I think that sometimes, absence makes your head clear so you can see things as they really are. “What do you mean Chrissie?” I hear you asking. Well, lets take, for example, a lamp. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Kqhb-aa","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/630","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=630"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/630\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}