I\u2019m a little nervous today for three reasons. Independently, they are cause for only minor alarm but happening together…. Well, lets just say I\u2019m out of un-bitten fingernails.<\/p>\n
Factoid #1 – I added Kevin to Schwab.<\/p>\n
Now, when you get married, one of the first big hassles is what to do about finances. You each had separate bank accounts, credit cards, and budgeting techniques back when you were a swinging single. After a few rounds of knock-down-drag-out fights about how much to spend where, or who spent more at the craft store vs Home Depot, you eventually settle on some compromise or decide to file for divorce. Our compromise was that I was in charge of all the money. (This makes sense to me as I was always the banker in monopoly and have a recurring dream where I\u2019m rolling around my bed in piles of dollar bills but I digress.) Every week, I give Kevin his $20 fun money and admonish him not to spend it all in one place. Through a complex system of bribes, treats, and punishment, I have managed to wean him off of his credit cards. I had added him to all my accounts and the only account he had not yet gotten his hands on was Schwab.<\/p>\n
Now, Schwab is\u00a0my<\/em> account. It\u2019s where the big bucks sit and earn interest. You don\u2019t touch Schwab unless it\u2019s for something important. Up until last week, Kevin wasn\u2019t on the account. In fact, Kevin wasn\u2019t allowed within spitting distance of Schwab. If he even looked at it funny, I was on him like Artie on Collin*. That\u2019s right, he couldn\u2019t write a check, use the credit card or hit an ATM without me being there. But in a moment of weakness, I agreed to add him and yesterday the new checks arrived in the mail. Kevin tried to hide it but I saw him break into his greedy-smurf hand rub and I could almost see the pictures of Gforce 3 video cards and radial arm saws dancing through his head.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Factoid #2 – Kevin has a week off.<\/p>\n
WaferTech is a 24 hour fab. This means that at every moment of every day there is some poor engineer working. In order to remain fair, the engineers rotate through. This is known as \u201cbeing on shift.\u201d You work for 12 hours, get off 12 hours, work for 12 hours, and so on. In order to compensate for this awful work schedule, you get a week off of work. So Kevin just finished up his shift and is currently in his week off mode. This consists of a lot of computer playing, surfing ebay for computer parts, and trying to devise ways to break into the Schwab account.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Factoid #3 – Kevin is going to Costco today.<\/p>\n
On his days off, Kevin hits Costco because he can go during the day and avoid the massive crowds and actually park within sight of the building. However, since he is on his own, he has no loving wife to restrain him so he usually ends up standing at the car with a cart full of stuff wondering how he\u2019s going to justify spending $300 in an half an hour.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Now, put it all together and you can see why, as I type these words, my hands are shaking with fear. Kevin has been surfing the web, dreaming of all the cool stuff he wants\/needs, Kevin has access to Schwab and suddenly has the purchasing power to buy all that cool stuff he wants\/need, and Kevin is going to Costco where not only do they sell all the cool stuff but it comes in a 4-pack which, if you break the cost down, means you can get more for less.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m debating calling Schwab and reporting my card stolen. I have a feeling, that\u2019s my only hope…<\/p>\n
*Collin is a very nice man who came over for dinner last week. Artie, for reasons unknown, decided Collin was a threat to his dominance and spent the whole night humping his leg. We apologized profusely and Collin, gentleman that he is, laughed it off. However, he has kindly refused all other dinner invitations and, well, I don\u2019t blame him.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m a little nervous today for three reasons. Independently, they are cause for only minor alarm but happening together…. Well, lets just say I\u2019m out of un-bitten fingernails. Factoid #1 – I added Kevin to Schwab. Now, when you get married, one of the first big hassles is what to do about finances. You each […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kevin"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Kqhb-5c","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=322"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1238,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions\/1238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}