So I think Kevin has been doing a little too much ebay lately since I\u2019ve figured out how to turn him from the dark side of ebay. I\u2019ve got him selling stuff instead of buying. Now he huddles in front of the computer working on his layout for his auction items. Trying to get the best mix of information and visual effects to convince some sucker he really wants our barely-used-almost-mint-condition thing-a-ma-bob.<\/p>\n
And the surprising part is, he\u2019s good. Actually, he’s better than good, he\u2019s really good. His gimmick is free shipping. The biggest rip-off on ebay is the shipping. You watch the auction, increasing the bid .50, fighting with treklover342 over three days only to win your auction and discover the seller wants $20 to ship a book via parcel post. This makes me very very grumpy. And so Kevin, tapping into his devious used-car-salesman soul, lists his item as follows:<\/p>\n
STARCRAFT MAC\/PC – MINT CONDITION – FREE SHIPPING!!!!!<\/p>\n
This brings them in droves. Suckers.<\/p>\n
To date, we have made well over $100 bucks on our little selling scheme. I rummage through the basement looking for ugly wedding presents or unused computer stuff. Once located, I forward them to Kevin who reacts in horror. (\u201cOh no, not the pineapple shaped cigarette tray. That was given to us by my uncle\u2019s first cousin\u2019s neightbor. I know we\u2019ve never even taken it out of the box in the two years we\u2019ve been married but that doesn\u2019t mean we won\u2019t use it!\u201d) After much cajoling and hand holding (and the promise that the proceeds will go toward a new Athalon XP 1800 chip), Kevin will cave to my demands and sell the offensive item online. So far, every item we\u2019ve posted has sold for a profit. Kevin\u2019s chip fund grows full, my basement shelves grow empty.<\/p>\n
So why, I hear you asking me, do I think Kevin has been doing too much ebay? Well put on your dream interpretation hats boys and girls because last night I was visited by a very strange one. Here\u2019s the skinny.<\/p>\n
In this dream I go down to the computer room and hop on Kev\u2019s computer. I look at his ebay site to check how our auctions are progressing and I realize he\u2019s added a new one. This one reads :
\nBARELY USED-LIKE NEW- CHRISSIE 1.02- FREE SHIPPING!<\/p>\n
In horror, I click the link to find out that Kevin has posted me online and, even worse, the auction is closed. The site counter says 15,000 hits but there were only 15-20 bids for me. The final price paid? $320. That\u2019s right, Kevin sold me for $320, no reserve.<\/p>\n
So at this point I\u2019m getting frantic. In dream world, it is common knowledge that an ebay auction is legally binding and I know I can\u2019t get out of it. My first thought is maybe it\u2019s some one I know who bought me so I\u2019m frantically trying to figure out who this person is. On ebay, next to a person\u2019s name is a linked number which shows their feedback history. Using this number, you can see that last 6 months of purchases\/items sold for that person. So in this dream, I\u2019m clicking through all of the items bought\/sold by this person trying to figure out who he\/she is. And it\u2019s just weird crazy stuff bought – I remember one was an automatic banana peeler. (Is there even such a thing? ) I can\u2019t tell anything about who this person is. So I start plugging the ebay ID into Google and Yahoo hoping to discover the identity that way. Nothing. Nada. All I know is that Kevin has up to three business days to ship me off to my new home after payment is received. As I\u2019m working the search engines, this email pops up saying Kevin\u2019s paypay account has just been credited $320.<\/p>\n
Now, how scary is that?<\/p>\n
So this morning I decided two things. First, Kevin needs a break for ebay. Second, I\u2019m going to nice to Kevin all week. (I know, I know, that\u2019s asking a lot but I figure aim high, right?)<\/p>\n
Any interpretations of the aforementioned dream would be greatly appreciated. And with that, I think our hour is up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I think Kevin has been doing a little too much ebay lately since I\u2019ve figured out how to turn him from the dark side of ebay. I\u2019ve got him selling stuff instead of buying. Now he huddles in front of the computer working on his layout for his auction items. Trying to get the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kevin"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Kqhb-4h","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1261,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions\/1261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}