It is a well known fact that I have more than a little bit of my dad in me. But lately, it seems to have increased and it\u2019s scaring me. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I love my dad and all but he\u2019s not exactly the model of a \u201cgood citizen\u201d. To back up this statement, let me merely say…. rocks.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019ll let you decided. The other day, I was out walking my dog. We were heading home after a very nice stroll through the neighborhood when we hit the yappers. There is one house on our way home that has a pack of small, mangy, yappy dogs. They\u2019re little toy breed things that, fully extended, may reach the height of your knee on a good day. Every time we walk by, they rush the gate and start yipping. Not barking like a real dog, but this annoying, high pitch yap. They shove their mangy little muzzles right through the chain link fence and have the gall to bark at Artie.<\/p>\n
Now, I\u2019m quite sure that Artie has topped 100 lbs and I\u2019m also equally sure he has a fair amount of pit bull running through his veins. These little hairballs probably weigh 7 lbs each or 5 lbs if you shaved off all their hair. Obviously, they are none too bright. I mean, Artie could probably chew two of them at the same time. Every time we approach this house, he turns his big brown eyes to me and seems to plead with me, \u201cplease mom, please let me eat one of those annoying things. I\u2019ll be good for the rest of the day. Please!\u201d There are some other big dogs on the block and it is with much shame that Artie if forced to retreat from these little yapping rodents.<\/p>\n
And up till now, I\u2019ve been good. I\u2019ve tightened the leash and made him walk by without a single bite. But the other day, the Elmo rose in my veins and I found myself pausing before that fence and looking to see if anyone was home. I was tired of these annoying little rat dogs and their incessant barking. They should learn not to challenge a big dog. They needed to be taught a lesson in the facts of dog life and I was here to instruct. So I found myself peering into windows and checking for a car in the driveway.<\/p>\n
Artie must have sensed my hesitation because he started to get excited. With his tail wagging, he turned to those little rat dogs and began to growl. You know, the kind of growl where they raise their gums and show you their long teeth. And instead of pulling him back, I laughed. I wanted to see those mutts turn tail and run. I couldn\u2019t wait for Artie to let fly at them and send them whimpering back to their house. I wanted them to be so scared, they pee\u2019d their, well, fur.<\/p>\n
I was Elmo.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, the owner was home and, hearing the growling, stuck her head out the door. \u201cMuffums, Princess, Sir Reginald, you stop that barking right now or momma\u2019s gonna come out there\u201d she called through the doorway. Since we were caught, I merely raised my hand in a friendly wave and smiled. Artie was disappointed but I consoled him. Sooner or later, that owner would be out of the house, and when she was, we were going to have some rat dog treats!<\/p>\n
You see. You see what I\u2019ve become??? Ah well, at least my dad would be proud of my attempt!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It is a well known fact that I have more than a little bit of my dad in me. But lately, it seems to have increased and it\u2019s scaring me. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I love my dad and all but he\u2019s not exactly the model of a \u201cgood citizen\u201d. To back up this statement, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-artie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Kqhb-2F","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=165"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1303,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/165\/revisions\/1303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}