Today I’m going to impart to you my wisdom on how to have a happy marriage. I can do this with two simple words.<\/p>\n
Separate bathrooms.<\/p>\n
“Huh?” you say. Just bare with me on this one.<\/p>\n
Our little house has two full baths. One on the main floor and one deep below in the basement. The main floor bathroom is my domain and is used by most guests. The basement bath is the exclusive territory of Kevin and this innocent division of toilets has become one of the bed rocks of our happy lives. My bathroom has perfumes, lotions, nail polish and cute pictures. Kevin’s has dirt, deodorant, dirt, rusty shaving implements, and more dirt. My bathroom receives a weekly scrubbing and vacuuming. Kevin’s bathroom gets cleaned only when a VIP comes to our house – aka a mother.<\/p>\n
Yes, the only time Kevin will clean his bathroom is when a mother enters our little home. Then, and only then, Kevin breaks out the cleaning supplies. Now, Kevin is a very rare being. He actually believes infomercials. For this reason, he has purchased every known wonder cleaning supply known to man. Out You Scum, Zap, Oxiclean, you name it. Basically, any infomercial that touts the phrase “cleans without scrubbing”, Kevin’ll buy it. And then, poor boy, he learns the horrible truth. If you don’t clean the shower for over three months, no amount of magical solution will whisk away the dirt.<\/p>\n
This weekend, Kev’s mom came down which meant it was time for the bi-yearly cleaning of Kevin’s bathroom. After about two hours, I decided to go downstairs and investigate how things were proceeding. This is what I found. Notice the nice line of bottles on the top of the toilet. Those would be the wonder products he’s colleted over the years. Poor little Kevin had tried every combination of magic cleaning solutions and nothing was working. I took pity on him and helped him with the scrubbing during which time he vowed to clean every week. I’ll be honest, it was pretty gross. I’m hoping that he’s true to his word and begins to clean a little more frequently. Even a monthly scrub down would be a major improvement.<\/p>\n
So if you ever come visit us and are feeling brave, go sneak downstairs and peek into Kevin’s bathroom. If it’s nice and shiney and clean, you’re a very special guest and should feel touched. If, however, it’s a dark and scary place, back away very very slowly and don’t turn you back to the shower until you have reached the stairs. At that point, it’s safe to start running.<\/p>\n
Separate bathrooms. It’s a good thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today I’m going to impart to you my wisdom on how to have a happy marriage. I can do this with two simple words. Separate bathrooms. “Huh?” you say. Just bare with me on this one. Our little house has two full baths. One on the main floor and one deep below in the basement. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Kqhb-2d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chrissierocks.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}