I sometimes forget that not everyone sees the world through my eyes. Things that seem perfectly obvious to me may be totally bizarre to someone else. For example, my friend needed some chap stick so I told her to grab it out of my purse. She rummaged around in it for a while and then said, “Um, Chrissie, what is this?!?”
I looked up and saw she was holding a spritzer of Binaca. You know, that stuff you squirt into your mouth to freshen it up right before you kiss someone. Now, having a tube of Binaca in your purse probably isn’t that strange but in my case, the tube is wrapped in duct tape with a piece of twine hanging from it like a handle.
“Oh, that,” I replied nonchalantly “it goes on your wrist, like this.” And I took the spray from her and slipped it over my hand so that it hung, dangling from my wrist. Oddly enough, this little demonstration only seemed to add to her confusion. What, like other people don’t walk around with a home made Binaca bracelet?
It actually took me a moment to process her confusion. You see, in our house, we walk around with the Binaca bracelet because it is the ultimate training device. Artie just hates the stuff. First off, when you spray it, it makes this weird hissing sound like a mad cat. Second, it makes him sneeze. It’s non-toxic and won’t harm him if he swallows it so we just aim at his nose and shoot. So when someone is at the door, we slip on the Binaca bracelet and if he starts barking or jumping on the guest, a quick squirt quiets him down. When you take him on a walk, you slip on the bracelet and if he goes after a cat or gets in a tangle with another dog, a quick squirt squirt and the squabble quickly breaks up. It’s gotten to the point now that all we have to do is pick up the spritzer and point it at him and say “no” and he’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing he hates the stuff so much.
I suppose, though, to those unfamiliar with my life, it may look like I’m strangely paranoid about my breath. I mean, why else would there be a spritzer of Binaca in every room? But it’s all perfect normal. Trust me.