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She's so alert now.

Before, she used to nurse and fall off the boob in a milky sleep coma and all you had to do was swoop her up and snuggle her while she slept.

Now, she wants entertainment. The boob isn't enough for her. She'll pop off with eyes wide open and look around as if to say, "ok, been there, done that, what's next."

I'm always fascinated by what catches her eye... the whirling blades of the ceiling fan, the black rim of the lamp shade, or even the pattern of sunlight on the wall. I wonder what she makes of all this. It clearly fascinates her, at least for a while, and then she starts to fuss and wants to look at something else.

She still loves to move. She adores rocking, swinging, being walked around, and my personal favorite, this kid loves to dance. For whatever reason, holding her and rocking, I get tired and bored fast. Watching her little face and trying to will her to close her eyes and sleep takes years. But turn on some good music and let me dance with her and the time flies. It only takes three or four songs and she's out like a light. I'll be in mid-dance, look down, and realize she's totally sacked out. She particularly likes swing music which just happens to be one of my favorites as well.

So if you want to come visit and hang with Leina bring your dancing shoes. We do a lot of dancing in this house and that's just fine by me.

Sometimes, while nursing, Leina gets hit by a bolt of baby electricity. I'm not sure why or what causes it but all of a sudden, her arms and legs all shoot out at once. Since she's on her side, only her top arm and leg fly into the air but this is enough for her to lose her balance and she begins to tip backwards. Her little eyes open in alarm and she starts windmilling her arm and leg to try and keep herself from tipping over. Sort of looks like she's trying to do the side stroke.

I always grab her before she falls back onto my lap and she gives me this big relieved look like "phew mom, that was close.... That's almost a half and inch drop there. You should have that fixed, a kid could get hurt." And then she pops back on and continues snacking until the next baby bolt hits her.

I'm telling you, this kid is cute.

Are things really starting to click? Chrissie is working really hard to figure out this baby. Everytime I come home she has a new method for licking the colic. A new burping technique, a new hold, a new nursing position. Sometimes I half expect to see Chrissie nursing upside down while reciting poetry when I get home. It's fun to see all the changes though.

Dad and Carla came by yesterday and brought us diner. What a treat to eat together for once! The meal was delicious and the baby relief allowed me to catch up tonight and look at some pictures. I'm not sure what Chrissie does with the camera during the day, but she does get some funny shots:

Yesterday, Leina was so beautiful.

She slept in with mom and woke happy. She nursed easily and went down for all her naps right on time. I don't know if it was colic episode the night before or some other fluke but she was all snuggly baby and sour milk breath. I loved every moment of her.

But as the sun began to set, I found my spine begin to stiffen. Would she have another attack? Would she sleep at all? I had forgotten that the cavalry was coming in the form of grandparents.

Yes, by the grace of God, Jerry and Carla decided to bring us dinner and two pairs of hands willing to rock and love Leina for me. Kevin and I sat down to a home cooked milk-free dinner of chicken and dumplings, salad, spinach and home made pear pie. I don't know what was more wonderful, the meal or spending time without Leina in my arms but knowing she was safe and well.

And if that wasn't enough, I even got to leave the house. Yes, that's right, I actually left the baby. In such capable hands, I decided to head out into the neighborhood. I hooked up the pooch, grabbed a few treats and a poop bag, and walked out the door. (Don't worry, I took the cell phone just in case. I'm still a crazy paranoid mom at heart.) For the next 20 minutes, Artie and I followed our usual route through the neighborhood. The last time I did that I was lugging Leina inside me. This time, I was solo. It was strangely wierd and wonderful and worrisome all at the same time.

That night, I decided to break out the breastpump and figure out how to work it. I love Leina but I realized I can't be the best mom if I'm so frazzled I'm thin as old glass. I need time off. I know that sounds awful, like I'm dying to get away from my own daughter but it's true. Sometimes, as I sit in the baby room for hours upon hours feeding her or changing diapers or trying to figure out why she's crying and how to make it stop, I begin to feel myself longing to get out. And the great part is that there are people more than willing to take Leina for an hour or so but I must leave them prepared with substitute boobies. And so, last night, I turned myself into a human cow. I think, like breast feeding, pumping is a learned are to I'm trying not to be too disappointed at my first attempt which was pretty dismal. After a good 20 minutes I had about half an ounce of milk bagged up. I'm thinking with this kid, that's just an appetizer. But I am determined and I am a taurus so I'm quite sure I will apply my pig head to this one and win eventually.

So the sun is setting and Kevin is trying to settle Leina for the night. We don't talk about it but both of us are secretly gnawing away at the big question - will the colic hit her or spare her tonight. I've been a google maniac today researching everything I can about colic. Everyone has a tip or an idea but no one seems to be able to have a cure. I just pray, every night, that Leina will grow quickly and strong so that these bouts will be a thing of the past and not a nightly trial.

My other savior has been Anne Lamott. She wrote a great book called Operating Instructions which is sort of a personal journal of her son's first year. He, too, suffered from colic and reading about her hilarious and so true dark thoughts makes me feel a little more sane. I'm at the part where he grows out of it at that magic 3 month mark.

I've decided to make one of those Christmas link chains. You know the type where every day you pull off another paper mache link to help count down to Christmas. Instead, mine with count down to three months when the magic is suppose to happen and Leina will sleep soundly at night and the colic will pass. Hey, I've already got one month in the hole.

My real savior, however, is Kevin who works a full day and then comes home to rescue me and be my rock and sanity saver. He takes Leina and rocks her and loves her. He stands by me at the crib while we watch her cry. He laughs with me at her poopie face and even takes a night shift sleeping with her so I can catch a few uninterrupted winks of sleep. I'm quite sure that without him, I would have quietly fallen apart by now. This morning, he left me a note on the kitchen table saying "I love you. You will make it through this. You are a GREAT mom." I've decided to tape this above the clock in the baby room so I'll see it everyday.

Am I a lucky girl or what? Kevin & Leina are both mine. I just doesn't get any better than this.